Sports & More Strange Brew Sports & More Strange Brew

  • Yankee opening day looked fun.

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Just kidding this was the scene in the 9th inning. Bucks games have more fans than this. Now granted they were down 8-2 at this point and seats are $275 for obstructed view. But still, all these Yankee fans blah blah blah about their 27 pennants and THIS is what happens on opening day?! Rookie ball folks. Makes you wonder if you'd trade places with a Yankee fan. Like yeah, I'd be pretty pumped to be in the race literally EVERY year and probably win a World Series once every 5 or so, but at the same time the small stuff you kind of miss out on. Like opening day in Milwaukee is basically a holiday. People tailgating for hours before the game, then a packed house, then hours of tailgating afterwards. When we clinched the Wild Card in '08 you would have thought we won game 7 of the Series. Yankees fans would probably say 'see you next year' if they won the Wild Card. Kind of a catch-22 I suppose. I'm 40% sure I used catch-22 correctly.

    PS: Got to love the Miami Marlins as well. Putting opening day tickets on Groupon! That's got to be an all time low. And that franchise is one of the great anamolies in recent memory. Terrible fan base in terms of coming to games, huge TV ratings and two World Series titles to their credit since becoming a team in 1993. I mean think about that. THey have only been a TEAM for 20 years and already have 2 WS championships. The Cubs have been a team since before the automobile and haven't won in 105 years. Almost makes me feel bad for the Cubs. Too bad their tears taste so good.

    Double PS: Also, happy Miller Park opening day for the fans who prefer to see their first game without a 22 year old girl puking in their lap!

  • Brewer's take game 1 despite our late inning relief's best efforts!

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    First of all, I want the above video to play after every blown save at every Major League park. Like when a closer gets yanked after giving up the lead this should be the go to as they walk shame-faced back to the dugout.

    With that said how about those Brewers yesterday! Now I'm not going to go crazy after one game. They're 1-0, it's better than 0-1, but there is a TON of baseball left. Although I will say this to the people who say 'it's only April folks!', that may be, but in late September if we miss the playoffs by a game, every one of those losses is responsible. As the old saying goes, you can't win a pennant in April, but you can lose one. So when you say 'baseball doesn't really start until July' not only are you an idiot but you're also Un-American.

    Now as for the game yesterday? Pretty meh. Actually really meh until the 8th inning. Like the loudest the crowd got until then was to boo some woman who picked hat #2 in the crazy cap shuffle when the ball was clearly in hat #3. Always listen to the crowd after crazy cap shuffle. They're right 100% of the time. Day 1 stuff really. But beyond that I think we're pumped for Aoki and Ramirez's hot starts. Middle relief looked solid and for all but one pitch Axe looked great. I'm not going to go crazy over that blown save. Clearly a bad pitch to throw at that time. Last batter of the game, down 1 will ALWAYS be looking fastball and Axe gave him the hot stinky cheddar right down the middle. I saw a lot of people already saying they need a short leash on him, if he blows another one Henderson should get a shot blah blah blah. Now look, if he blows 5 of his first 7, then yeah, time to re-evaluate. But I'm not going to have a Rain Man-Wapner style melt down over one blown save*.

    *Talk to me tomorrow if he blows one tonight: Meltdown City.

    PS: You know what I did kind of wish? That Axford was a terrible dude. Like we find out he hates puppies or is racist or hates Star Wars or something. That would make it much easier for me to get angry after blown saves. But he's a funny, self-aware, stand up guy who is awesome in the community. Mason Crosby situation.

  • Brewer's season win total in Vegas=Free Money

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Well folks if you're interested in free money I have a deal for you! Brewers' season starts today and that means that Vegas has posted their expected season win total. Now for those that aren't complete degenerates let me Obi Wan this thing for you. The posted win total is 79.5. Which means you pick whether the Brewers will finish above or below that total at a 1:1 payout. The only crappy thing about a bet like this is your money is in limbo until the end of the regular season in early October. But that's easier to stomach considering the only way you would make money easier is to start the Human Fund. I mean 79.5?! Mortal Lock CITY! It was at 81 for a long time, then they signed Lohse and I figured it would go UP to like 82.5 or 83.5. Then I log-on this morning and it actually went down?! It's so crazy I almost think they know something I don't. I mean Vegas and their team of experts rarely (frequently) outsmarts the gut instincts of a degenerate. Put the mortgage on it! Put the 401K* on it! Then come and laugh with me when a 10 year old Chinese child delivers us bags of money with money symbols on it from your off shore betting account!

    *I'm almost 30, should I be doing one of these? Like there's no chance I'm cashing a social security check right? Right now I've got 5 $50 Patriot Bongs and a baseball card collection as my retirement plan.....

    PS: Had a buddy pose this question to me: Would you give up two years of your life to guarantee a Brewers championship this season. Is it wrong that it took me .2 seconds to say yes? Like I've pretty much wasted the first 29 years of my life, chances are with the way I drank in college my life expectancy is only 42 anyway, and it's not like I'm curing cancer here or anything. Probability is that I would just gamble and embarass my family for those two years anyway. Win win for everyone really.  

  • If you're an old school WWF fan, you love this.

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Friggin' Iron Sheik. I could honestly watch these little stories on a loop for hours and not get tired. I think that from about 1980-2002 with particular emphasis from '85-'93 there were somewhere from 2-5 million of these stories. Sheik and Hacksaw just cruisin' to a gig with some cocaine, heroin and beer like it ain't no thing. And I 200% picture each of these guys in their get up. Like the officer comes up to this car and sees Sheik dressed as Saddam Hussein and Hacksaw with a 2x4 and an American flag. Classic. And if you're not following Sheik on Twitter you're doing the internet wrong. Honestly Sheik's Twitter and George Takei's Facebook page are the only two reasons I think I still go on the internet.

    PS: You know who I really want to go out and get drunk with? Mean Gene Okerlund. Like that guy has been around FOREVER. He's seen literally every era of wrestling. From the over the top flamboyance of the 80's to the steroids of the 90's to the NWO to the Attitude era. He's been backstage for it all. I envision every wrestler paying him a duty every month to keep his mouth shut about all the stories he's seen. Write a tell all book Mean Gene! Give the people what they want!

  • Marquette Warriors demolish Miami, one win from the Final Four!

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    How about the Warriors last night folks! Simultaneously throttling Miami and my bracket. And I couldn't be happier about it. Thank you sir may I have another! Now I know there is a line that divides a lot of 'Badger' fans and 'Marquette' fans but I live on both sides of the line. Primarily because I didn't go to either school and secondarily because I had a cousin that worked at Marquette and a sister that went to Marquette. So I have ties on both sides. In fact I can remember being 8 or 9 years old and meeting Roney Eford and Jim McIlvaine after a game Marquette played against Saint Louis. Still a top 5 moment in my life because Mac was like 7'1 in school and I was probably 4'2. And that's being generous. I don't think I hit a 'growth spurt' until I was like 17. Plus I had what my Mom deemed the '5th grade pudge' that didn't wear off until I turned 18 and is quickly coming back as the 29 year old pudge. So in that moment I was on the Danny Devito fast track. But meeting any college athlete at that age is pretty sweet.

    So with all that said it was very enjoyable to watch them set up a date with Syracuse in the Elite 8 on Saturday. Only disappointing thing was that Tom Crean and company couldn't beat 'Cuse and set up the story line that everyone wanted (guaranteed CBS execs had a 'pants store' situation in anticipation of that potential matchup). Somewhere Vince McMahon and David Stern had to be laughing as Indiana continually ran the 'run into a triple team and force a shot against a zone defense' play*. That's not how you cash in on a story line NCAA! Ah well. Still pretty awesome. Last time Marquette made the Final Four was '03 and I was a freshman at Stevens Point. So full of hope and optimism. And malt liquor. Probably 40 pounds lighter and not yet realizing that he is spending 20K to become a full time DJ/blogger.

    *You know what is unfathomable? How Indiana couldn't dissect a zone defense. Lundquist and Raftery were talking about it all night. 'Indiana isn't ready for this!' 'They haven't seen a zone like Syracuse!' Ummmmmm it's a zone defense? Been around for like 30 years. Not to mention Indiana had 4 days to prepare for it. They looked as confused as a guy trying to unhook his first bra.

    PS: Another thing about last night's broadcast, literally every time Davante Garnder touched the ball Lundquist and Raftery made a comment about his weight. Guys, we get it, Davante is a big dude. Bigger than an average player. We don't need to hear it every time he is in the game. Especially from Verne. Bro you look like Pizza the Hut. Glass houses my friend, glass houses.

  • Aaron Rodgers set to become the highest paid player in NFL history.

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Welp folks I've basically had this blog written since Joe Flacco signed his $120 million dollar deal a few weeks ago. Somewhat surprising that I still decided to go with the run-on sentences and misspelled words but I think that's my schtick at this point. Plus if you've been reading Strange Brew for the past 4 years my guess is that you either don't care about grammar or are my mom. Hi Mom.

    In any case, according to one of my Facebook friends, Adam Shefter, Aaron Rodgers is going to be getting his Michael Phelps on in his own gold coin money vault any day or even any hour now. Again, 1,000% a forgone conclusion when Flacco signed his deal. There's just no way that was going to last. Hopefully he didn't have too many business cards with 'Highest Paid Player in NFL History' on them, otherwise he's going to be spending a lot time white-ing those puppies out like Dwight Schrute when he got upgraded from Assistant To the Regional Manager. And I think that's probably a good thing for NFL fans everywhere. I'm not sure I want to live in a world where Joe Flacco is the highest paid player in the NFL. I also don't want to live in a world where Ron Swanson isn't on TV, where Harold Ramis isn't writing movies, or where Iron Sheik isn't on Twitter. And at least one of those I've suffered with for 24 days. Well no more! My guess would be this will get wrapped up this week, with Clay Matthews probably getting his new deal before training camp. But I'll wait for the confirmation from Adam.

    PS: Seriously what is this going to be worth? Flacco signed at $120 million. Going Price is Right rules I'm guessing $150 million over 7 years.

    Double PS: If you don't play by Price is Right rules when guessing numbers you're a psycopath.

  • Couple rents their Hampton's condo out to a reality TV show, with predictable results.

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    NYMag – What happens after the reality show party scene is over? Apparently the homeowners come back to a filthy mess. Stuart and Susan Silverman claim they unwittingly rented their East Hampton vacation home to something calledVice Productions (warning: bikinis ahead), which used the property for its pArty of 5 show, which sounds like a budget version of E!’s Wild On. An invite from last summer teases: “Pool party with 45 Litres of Bertaud Belieu rose, 144 bottles of Devotion Vodka, Vita Coco Girls … Will be filming travel / party show at house all month.” It got predictably disgusting. The Daily News reports: They are seeking unspecified monetary damages for damage to the lawn, some $20,000 in repairs to broken door handles and fixtures inside the house and missing silverware. “A very expensive couch has to be replaced according to the complaint filed in Long Island Federal Court.

     

     

    First of all, no idea why this scene from The Office popped into my head like Ray with Stay Puft, but it did. It has nothing to do with the Hamptons, reality TV or condo's but it's apparently what my brain associates with those three things. I'd say it doesn't make sense but it makes perfect sense, but it really makes no sense.

    Anyhow how about the balls on this couple? You rent your condo out to ANYBODY let alone a company called Vice Productions and you come back with $20,000 worth of broken door handles (huh?), a chopped up lawn and a couch you probably wouldn't want to take a Room Raiders black light to and I consider that a BEST case scenario. Like you couldn't pay me enough to rent my house to someone for a month because I know I treated places that I was just 'renting.' Like my house in college. Me and three buddies all lived at a house right near the downtown area of Stevens Point for two years. We knew it would be the only time we ever lived there, and I think we pretty much made a silent pact that when we put in our security deposit that that was money we were never getting back. What resulted was  a property that Mike Rowe could have shot a Dirty Jobs episode at. Surprised our landlord didn't just pour gasoline over it, light a match and say 'Burn it' like William Wallace. So to say I wouldn't be renting my place to a company called 'Vice Productions' for a month would be a massive understatement*.

    *Now if this was the actual 'Wild On' instead of a knockoff it's a totally different ballgame. I wouldn't even charge them, I'd only request that I can be there with them and have Brooke Burke as the host 1998 style. This is what kids don't get these days. There was a time with Wild On was VERY important. I can remember watching Howard Stern and Wild On with the volume on 2 and my finger on the jump channel in my parents basement. This was a time before Google and Youtube where swimsuit models and Spring Break videos werent't a mouse click away. Basically my generation's uphill to school both ways in the snow.

    PS: I hope there was no damage to Snoopy and Prickly Pete!

     

  • Yuni B back in a Brewers jersey!

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    My initial reaction when I woke up from my afternoon nap yesterday (because I'm a borderline toddler) and heard that Doug Melvin had re-signed Yuniesky 'Swing at all the things' Betancourt. Legit thought JSONLINE was starting a satire section on their website like the Onion. But turns out it's legit! Now I will say this in his defense, he wasn't as awful defensively as people made him out to be. Granted present day Jose Valentin probably has more range (and a killer 'stache), but he makes routine plays for the most part. And when he was hot offensively, he raked. Batted .252 with us in 2011 and that's an average I can live with. It's the .272 OBP that's horrifying. And I'm not sure how it even got that high really. Must have been hit by pitches? Dude flat out never takes walks. Like I think in all my years of playing baseball video games starting with Triple Play '95 on Sega Geneis and all the way up to this season of The Show I've taken 7 total walks and that's STILL more than Yuni.  Even Chuckie Be Hackin' Carr thinks Yuni swings too much. And he swings at 99% of all first pitches. Like it is flat out mind boggling how any pitcher doesn't throw him a first pitch changeup every at bat. 

    Now I guess he was with Philly all spring and batted .447 with 14 RBI's in Grapefruit league action which is outrageous. But as we've talked about if spring training stats meant anything then Brad Nelson and Ben Hendrickson would be in the middle of Hall of Fame careers. I guess if they keep him in a bench capacity only I'm not overly concerned. After all, the last time the Brewers won a division title he was in our everyday lineup*!

    *That's terrifying for one of the two parties and I can't decide which.  

    PS: Finally got my Brewers tickets in the mail yesterday. I was like Ralphie out at the mailbox everyday waiting for a secret decoder ring. Absolutely cannot wait to get after it at Miller Park on Monday. Just a shame that Melvin couldn't have locked up Yuni earlier so they could have used his profile as a picture on the tickets.

    Double PS: I genuinely believe my Brewers ticket rep is more excited to talk to me on the phone than my parents are. Easiest sale of his year. Like offering Toppers Stix to a drunk college kid at 2am. Lay up drill.

  • Lohse Financial Details

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Alright so not all that unexpected yesterday from the Brewers in terms of Lohse's financial details; 3 year, 34 million. Basically the same contract that Randy Wolf signed a few years back. The more I thought about it the more I fall in line with the Crew having to do it. This spring sort of reminds me of the 'Merely a Flesh Wound!' scene in Monty Python. Like ALL spring, Peralta, Fiers and Rogers have been getting shelled (for the most part) and we've just acted like everything was okay. When in fact if we went into the year with Gallardo, Estrada, Narveson, Fiers and Peralta as our starting 5 we're probably staring down the barrel of a 75 win team. So with Lohse, you'd expect to get 13-15 wins and a managable ERA. Probably makes us a Wild Card threat and borderline NL Central contender. The Cardinals are the Cardinals and the Reds aren't nearly as good as people are acting. You'd think the '27 Yankees had been resurrected the way people are talking up Cinncinnati.

    I guess the Suppan thing is still what makes me leary. PTSD like you read about. Hell I'm shocked Melvin and company didn't just lure all Brewer fans to Miller Park and have them Neuralized Men in Black style to forget about that signing. But I suppose Lohse is a different style pitcher and has had more of a history of success than Soup did. And honestly Wolf really wasn't bad until the final year of his deal. First two years and his effort in Game 4 of the NLCS in 2011 probably made his contract worth it overall. Plus Lohse was talking about 'getting a ring' in his intro yesterday. Watch your mouth Kyle! You're poop, poop mouth, poop coming out of your mouth.

  • Justin Timberlake ripping shots of tequila during British late night interview.

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    First a disclaimer; I know in terms of internet time, 10 minutes* for a video is a LONG time. If you wanted a book corrolary, a 10 minute Youtube video is like War and Peace. And I'm more of a 'Puppy Who Lost His Way' type guy. But I assure you it is worth it. Just wall to wall Timberlake and whoever the hell Jonathan Ross is ripping shots of tequila and playing mini golf. Just accentuates how awesome Justin Timberlake is at life. Like honestly if I could live one dude's life for a day I think he may top the list. Followed probably by Aaron Rodgers, Ryan Braun, Eric Church and Mighty Max. And I know Mighy Max isn't real but in a different way he was very real/totally fake. In any case this video should just be called Life 101 because Timberlake just kills it. And I think when this all gets sorted out, you and me should get an apartment together!

    *This may legit be the first 10 minute Youtube video I've ever watched. I don't know why but if it's longer than 1:20 I'm out. And if I can't click 'skip ad' forget about it. You think I've got 30 seconds of my life to waste Youtube? Pffft. For sure not**.

    **Internet tough guy translation: I absolutely have 30 seconds to waste. Not like I'm curing cancer over here or anything.

    PS: Mighty Max is the most underrated cartoon of the 90's and I'll fight anyone who says different. If you are a guy in your late 20's/early 30's and you didn't at one point want to be Mighty Max you and I are done professionally. 

  • Brewers to sign Lohse

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    News just came down the the Crew is set to sign Kyle Lohse. Can't say I'm surprised since literally nobody is doing anything of note during spring training in terms of actually building up confidence in our young pitchers. Fiers has been erratic. Peralta is CC Sabathia one day and Ben Hendrickson the next. Mark Rogers was basically doomed from the day he put on the ill fated #37. I mean who was he kidding with that move. It'd be like a first baseman for the Red Sox wearing Buckner's #6. So this was probably the logical choice if we hope of competing this year.

    Now with all that said I've always been in the camp of 'seeing what we have.' Basically give these kids the Neo treatment. Throw them out there and see if they've got what it takes. Now presumably they wouldn't have to take a bulllet to the domepiece if they weren't 'the one' but you get the point. But I'd also be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about the spring performance so far. That plus 'Marco Estrada' and 'number 2' go together about as well as 'blogger' and 'pride.' I couldn't find the financial details (read: I googled it and didn't see it in the first article) but I do know we have to give up our first round pick this year. And I'm more than a little hesitant given the recent past of signing Cardinal's pitchers in their mid-30's coming off of a career year. But what the hell! Let's get nuts!

  • Dude in Toronto gives one of the most bizarre interviews of all time.

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    5 things;

    1. Kudos to this chick for never taking the mic away for a second. She had to know this was going viral from second number 1. Rule of the social media age; if a crazy starts talking, just keep rolling and laugh as the tens of Youtube ad dollars come rolling in.

    2. I have no idea where Waterloo is but it is rocketing up my bucket list of places to visit.

    3. 'You figure it out, I'm gettin' out of here' is going to be my parenting philosophy.

    4. If I ever get interviewed for anything I'm tearing my shirt open at the end. Power move doesn't even begin to describe that power move.

    5. Thank God we live in this time.