Sigh. I was foolish to believe that last week I had wrote my final blog on Jeff Suppan. I truly believed that once the Brewers cut him his days in Major League Baseball were done (although some would argue his days in Major League Baseball have been done since about 2007). But here we are less than week later and when you scan the 'probable starters' list for today's slate of games lo and behold there is a 'Suppan, Jeff' lined up for the Cardinals game against Seattle. Am I even on planet earth anymore? Like the Cards have to know something we don't right? Because not only did they re-sign him, but they picked up up literally hours after the Crew cut him. This is like when you hold a crap card in a game of gin rummy and when you finally discard it you see another player's eyes light up as they lay down a 7 card run.
Honestly is Suppan really some double secret (probabtion) agent? He dominated with the Cardinals for four years, then we pay him bags of money only to watch him cost us games and years on our lives, then we cut him, then the Cardinals pick him up for pennies and he goes back to dominant Suppan*? I'm pretty sure this is the plot of 'From Russia with Love' right? Or Superman III? One of those I'm pretty sure. The Cardinals front office playing chess the entire time with Doug Melvin as their pawn. And what happens when Suppan comes back to Miller Park at some point this year and throws a 3 hit shutout. The riot that follows is going to make Disco Demolition night look like child's play! In fact just thinking about that makes me want to cry. Just kidding but not really. Bonus word: crazy.
* For those wondering Suppan does indeed make not only the money we owe him, but also the money on the contract the Cards just signed him to. Say what you will about him but nobody has made more money being less productive than him. And in a way I respect him for it. If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times, if you're going to be bad, be the worst, and make 8 figures while you do it. Or maybe that was Ted Dibiase from Wrestlemania 5. Either way.