Well isn't this a kick in the pants. Here I've been banging my head against a wall my entire life trying (with little to no success) to be cool. Just throwing stuff against the 'cool' wall and seeing what sticks. I tried playing trumpet. Nothing. Then I switched to to tuba. And contrary to popular belief women didn't find THAT cool either. I bought a pair of JNCO jeans. Nope. Top bowling average in junior league? Pfft. Hell I was even one of the first people with a portable CD player in middle school, it had 45 second skip protection and everything. Shockingly that did not vault me in to anyone's 'top 8' either. In fact it got to a point where I started to think it was perhaps just me! And then after 25 years of 'cool' atrophy along comes young Steve here. Finally putting in ink exactly what it takes for someone to be considered cool. If only I had this list in 1990, I could have avoided those aforementioned pitfalls. I guess if anything though my actions made other people look cool comparatively. I was sort of like a social martyr in the regard.
I guess my only question is how many of these do you need to hit to actually be cool? Like 80%? 90? So far I've got 'grow facial hair' and 'online friendships.' And do I ever have online friendships. I've got like 19 friends on facebook and 9 followers on twitter. So yeah, put a check mark next to that one. But beyond that I've got a lot of work to do, and some of these are so obvious I can't believe I missed them. Speak European? Duh. Chicks dig European, here I was wasting my time on Spanish, pigeon holing myself into one extra language when I could have just learned European and covered it all! Cool 101. EXXXTREME (everything). I need to get in contact with Steve to get further explanation on that one. Does that mean like using my laptop with my virus scan turned off? Or braving Wal-Mart on the weekend? Cause if that's the case then I'm good to go. Sometimes I even wait till the day before my rent is due to pay it. Certified badass. But if we're talking about things like going to a grocery store without a list, or calling a girl without a pre-written script, then I'm out of my league. I'm also unsure of what psychrock is, but obviously Steve is equally as confused so I'm not going to worry about that one right now. I'll google it once I get through some of the other things on this list. One cool step at a time. Bonus word: cool.