Sports & More Strange Brew Sports & More Strange Brew

  • Ted Thompson: The Anti Costanza

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Sigh....If only Ted Thompson folded like this during pre-draft press conferences! Then maybe, just maybe, Packers fans would have a clue what the green and gold plan to do when the NFL draft starts tonight. Conventional wisdom would dictate that we probably need to get a young corner who can return kicks, or an offensive tackle for the future, or maybe even an athletic outside linebacker to push Brad Jones for playing time this season. But with Ted Thompson captaining the ship? We might draft 9 wide receivers before all is said and done. Hell we might draft a catcher with the 23rd pick. In fact I've probably got a better chance of figuring out an episode of Lost before I could tell you Ted's plans for this year's draft. But you know what? I'm starting to like it. Because for as much as some Packers fans still hate Teddy (I call him Teddy) after the whole Favre circus, the bottom line is the guy can flat out draft. Like everyone has something they're dominant at. For me it's classic Nintendo games and napping. For Ted it's assessing and drafting NFL talent. 6 of one, half dozen of the other. But I realize there are some people who are still suspicious of Ted's maneuvering, so I did a little research to back up my point. And by 'research' I mean 'googled the words 'packers draft history'' but who's counting.

    So since Ron Wolf's last draft in 2000, here are the impact players drafted BEFORE Teddy's first draft in 2005:

    1. Aaron Kampman (5th round 2002)

    2. Nick Barnett (1st round 2003)

    3. Scott Wells (7th round 2004)

    That's it. 27 picks. 3 that ever became anything. Now I'm no mathematician, but that's like what, a -5% success rate? Not to mention this was a time period when the BJ Sander's and Ahmad Carrol's and Jamal Reynold's of the world were taken with high picks. Percentage chance that Ahmad Carrol is getting called for illegal contact in his flag football league right now?

    Now Teddy's first draft was in 2005, and while during many of his early drafts I was inventing new swears to yell at my 20 inch TV/DVD combo in college, I have to admit I'm starting to just have blind faith in the guy at this point. What's the old saying? "Nothing cures the ills of a hated general manager more than 5 consecutive drafts of pro bowlers and future hall of famers that build a franchise back to the dynasty it once was?" Yeah I think I read that somewhere. Anyway here is just a sampling of what his draft's have yielded since his first one in 2005:

    Aaron Rodgers, Nick Collins, Jason Spitz, Johnny Jolly, Greg Jennings, Brady Poppinga, Mason Crosby, James Jones, Jordy Nelson, Korey Hall, AJ Hawk, Jermichael Finley, Josh Sitton, Matt Flynn, BJ Raji, Clay Matthews, and Brad Jones.

    Now I realize not everyone on this list is headed to Hawaii every year, but they are all contributors to our teams's success last year in one way or another. And yeah he's had his share of misses,  Justin Harrell and Brian Brohm anyone? But his hits far outweigh his misses. And while I've booed him many times during his tenure, I have to admit I'm rooting for him 120% now. Thompson's like the wiley coyote. You can only rail on him and hear other people bash him for so long before you start rooting for him to take down the roadrunner's ass! Bonus word: draft.

    PS: I was covering the draft in 2007 for our sister station WTAQ at the Lambeau Field atrium when they drafted Harrell in the first round. It was a near riot situation. Like that is one of the two times in my life I've been legit scared. That and during a house party in college once I was crammed into a basement and 4th and Michigan in Stevens Point when both tappers on both kegs were stolen. There were dozens of sweaty college kids wanting to drink beer with no means of doing so. I think my buddy Rob tried stabbing the keg with his keys. To this day I still don't know how I made it out of there.

  • Dave Bush=Baseball Tease

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Dave Bush is the best pitcher the Brewers have right now. How does that sentence strike you? And the really bonkers thing? It's not even close. Compare his starts to Wolf's, Suppan's, Davis's, hell even Gallardo's and Dave is in a class by himself. I feel like I'm writing a science fiction novel with these sentences! This is like Dan Gadzuric playing productive minutes, the Packers special teams NOT getting called for holding, or DJ Jazzy Jeff not getting kicked out of the Banks residence.

    I'm on to Dave Bush's tricks though. He's a tease. Watching him pitch over the past 5 seasons is like watching a mediocre TV show that gives you JUST enough entertainment to justify turning it on every week. And there you sit week after week, waiting for it to give you a full season of entertainment and reward your dedication. Come to think of it, Dave Bush is a lot like watching The Real World. 57 minutes of every episode is total garbage but then at the end of every show you get something like this in the last minute:

    Which then transitions directly into the next episode and 57 more minutes of my life gone: "Well I'm going to need some kind of resolution on this slap....better heat up some hot pockets and get comfortable." Diabolical! And just like The Real World slap fight, Dave Bush gives us like one or two starts a year where he flirts with a no hitter (against Toronto in 2008 and Philly in 2009) or tosses a complete game shut out to keep us interested before going 9-10 with an ERA of 4.50. But every once in a while you get a season like Real World: Las Vegas that is just non-stop fights, boozing, gambling and drama! A veritable buffet of must see TV. So basically we're waiting for Dave Bush: Las Vegas. Could this be the year? He should be 3-0 with an ERA under 2.50, and right now when I look at the 'probable starters' for every game I feel most confident when I see his name.

    So it's wait and see for now, but wasn't it nice last night to have a comfortable win? Like I almost missed having 17 heart attacks in the 9th inning watching our bullpen fritter away a 4 run lead. Honestly the bullpen has been so bad I was rooting for tack on runs up 8-1 in the top of the 9th. Is there such a thing as a 7 run save? Because I think it should count as one for as bad as our pitching has been. Minus Dave Bush of course. Bonus word: dave.

    PS: The Real World Seattle is in my top 3 Real World's of all time.

    1. Real World Las Vegas

    2. Real World Seattle

    3. Real World San Diego

    That slap of Irene in the video above is like the Kennedy video for my generation. Like we all remember where we were when Stephen slapped Irene and threw her teddy bear in the river. Also their job that season was working at a radio station. All they did was drink beer and interview bands. Better than any career day I had in high school.

  • Game 2: Here's the tip!

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Is it possible that this catch phrase saves the franchise? Like that's a legit question I think. The Bucks have had problems selling merchandise, selling season tickets, selling out the Bradley Center blah blah blah for decades now. In fact the only thing they have been able to sell with frequency is beer at games. Large beers. Because if you've watched this team at all since 1990, with the exception of one year, you needed 3 4 5 ten's of beers to be able to stomach the basketball that was being played. But all of a sudden this "Fear the Deer" mantra has caught on in Milwaukee. People are buying these shirts like Beanie Babies in 1996! Goes to show you what some good marketing and a solid motto can do. Like I'm pretty sure that McDonalds fad was going out before 'I'm Loving It.' But throw a catch phrase on there and BAM, billions more people served.

    In any case game 1 on Saturday was pretty much par for the course when young, inexperienced teams like the Bucks make the playoffs for the first time in a long time. They looked a lot like me at my first house party in college; dazed and confused. They fell behind by 24 points early, then got their bearings and got to with 7 late in the 4th before Atlanta pulled away. That plus Brandon Jennings, the youngest player on the court, looked like this:

    While the rest of the team was firing up UGLY SHOT!* Heck Dan Gadzuric was in the game in the first quarter. That's a sure fire sign things have gone wrong because he's a human white flag. Like when I got into games in middle school. "Well, Jon's in, we're either up by 50 or down by 50."

    Seriously, get John Salmons and Carlos Delfino going again to give Jennings some help, find a magic potion to heal Bogut's arm and we'll be good to go. Prediction: 97-95 Bucks win. Bonus word: crazy.

    *Youtube and I have not been having a good month. First I couldn't find the Seinfeld Even Steven, now I can't find a clip of NBA Jam where the announcer says 'UGLY SHOT' with video. Come on youtube, act like you've been there before. However, not finding that video did lead me to this:

    http://www.realmofdarkness.net/sounds/vg/nbajam-soundboard.htm

    That's right baby! An NBA Jam soundboard! Some of you know I moonlight as play by play guy for Wisconsin Luthern College men's and women's hoops in Milwaukee. And if you think I'm not going to start calling games with every NBA Jam catch phrase you must be outside your mind!

    PS: On the soundboard just click "For two!" and "Ugly Shot!" in succession and you'll get a clearer picture of my playing days.

     

  • Cat>Me

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times. Cats are smarter than us and can't be trusted. Period. Because this is cute as hell. But I give it about 14 minutes until Iggy here is using this guy's credit card and ordering bags of cat nip, getting subscriptions to Cat Fancy, and creating a facebook page to hook up with his other cat friends. Then we won't be seeing any cute youtube videos!

    How do I know this you might ask? Well I'll tell you. I dated a girl in college who bought a kitten our junior year. His name was Simba. He was orange, and one of the first days she had him he curled up with me for a nap on the couch. Nothing cuts to the core of me more than an animal who can identify with my apathy. So we became fast friends. And that's just what he wanted. He was playing chess the entire time. Before I knew it that cat was destroying everything I owned! Night number 3 I hung out with Simba I fell asleep on the couch and threw my favorite blue hoodie on the floor. He curled up in it like a little cat bed so I figured all was copesthetic. I woke up, threw my sweatshirt on, and noticed quite a funk had formed on it. And to notice a funk on this thing is telling. I wore this sweatshirt to every bar and every class I went to. Turned out my cute friend had peed on it the night before! Have you ever smelled cat pee? They could use that in terrorist interrogations. So after 18 washings I finally got it out. The next night I left my sweatshirt on my bed and Simba wasn't even in the room. The next morning I wake up, and guess what smelled like cat pee again! What's the old saying? Pee on my sweatshirt once, shame on you, pee on my sweatshirt twice shame on me.

    The final straw came during a Brewer game that summer. Bottom of the 9th with Prince Fielder at bat, down by one to the Astros and two men on. Wow. The fact that I remember that just made me proud and sad all at the same time. Anyway, as his at bat is raging on, the drama is building and all of a sudden I hear a CRASH from the kitchen. So I go and check it out. Oh! Well if it isn't Sir Simba knocking over my trash can, with days weeks months of trash in it. By the time I get back to the TV Prince had hit a walk off double. Simba: "Bwahahahahha!" 

    So if you think Iggy here is tricking me with his cuteness then pffft. Not buying it. And if you need further proof go to minute 1:28 of this video and scope the look that Iggy gives his owner. "Is this what you want from me? Do I amuse you? Just wait till you go to bed...." Bonus word: cat.

    PS: For all the cat lover's out there I'm 100% kidding. Kind of. In a way I did sort of respect the way that Simba didn't respect me at all. That cat saw 'tool' written on my forehead and used it to his full advantage. Well played Simba. Well played.

    PPS: This same video could be shot of my trying to figure out an ipad, just replace Iggy with me. Honestly he seems to know more about technology than me. Maybe he can teach me how to send a text? I'll have to hit him up on his facebook page.

  • Hit Me!

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    I feel exactly like Peter here hitting on 21 here after yesterday! Like what else is going to happen this week? 85 degree days in April? Check. Jeff Suppan earning (in his own way) some of his contract yesterday? Double Check. Bucks playoff games starting tomorrow? Triple check. I've been typing and saying those words all week and I'm still shocked. Am I going to get a ride home from work on a unicorn* today too? Cause about 5 months ago that seemed more likely than Jeff Suppan doing anything productive on a baseball field. Only 4 earned runs in 5 innings? Yes please! It got to the point yesterday where I was treating his start like a no hitter. 'Soup's only given up 2 home runs today? SHHHHHHHH!' Seriously I'll take that from him 7 days a week and twice on Sunday. Just keep us in games and maybe some Souuuuppppsss will be scattered in with the buffet of boooooooo's he normally gets. As a side note how convenient is it to have a nickname that rhymes with 'boo' 'man the fans REALLY love me today!

    As far as the Bucks go it's safe to say this is is the first time I've clicked on the 'NBA' portion of ESPN.com mid-April since 2001. In fact at this point in a typical year I'm as indifferent toward the NBA  as Ken Macha is toward warming someone up in the bullpen while one of our pitchers is getting shelled. And even though they clinched weeks ago, a part of me was still worried that on Wednesday they would somehow manage to lose 11 games in one night and get eliminated. But lo and behold they wrap up the season 10 games over .500 and are on their way to Atlanta for Game 1 on Saturday evening! I'll be there next Saturday for Game 3 in Milwaukee, also the first playoff game I've been to at the Bradley Center since 2001. I'm hoping the BC will at least be sold out and Milwaukee will support the Bucks in the playoffs the way they used to. Hell I can remember going to sold out Bucks playoff games early and attending pep rallies and stuff outside the BC. It sounds like crazy talk but this state was Bucks obsessed for a 2 or 3 year stretch there. You want proof? Watch:

    See?! It did happen! I had to youtube it just to make sure it was actually true. Then I watched a bunch of 'related video' highlights and remembered just how badly they got screwed in the Eastern Conference Finals that year in Philly. A rage I had buried deep in my subconscious. All of a sudden I had flashbacks to a 16 year old Jon sweating and writing swears in his journal. Truth be told though I pretty much sweat no matter what I was doing when I was 16. TMI. Bonus word: bucks.

    *Initially I was going to lead with a picture of a unicorn before I found the Family Guy video. But I google imaged 'unicorns' and every single picture was creepier than the next. Until I found this gem:

    Would God let two such forces combine!? Robo-corn! If I don't get this picture framed for my new house I'll just die.

  • A Princely Sum?

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Another walk off headline straight from 1930! Man, I find my true calling in life and I'm 80 years too late. It's like finding out you're good at Jacks in 2010. Just doesn't fit the time period. Like in 1985 the ladies would be falling all over themselves watching you pick up all ten jacks with the ball in the air. In 2010 you're more likely to be handed a shot glass if you ask someone to play jacks.

    Anyway instead of obsessing over another Brewers meltdown yesterday I wanted to discuss an issue that has been prevalent in the Brewers community since spring training started. So we won't talk about the fact that Dave Bush was robbed of a victory again. Or that Ken Macha refuses to warm somebody up when clearly the pitcher on the mound is running on 'e.' Nope. Don't want to think about it.

    Instead let's discuss the revelation two days ago that Prince Fielder may want up to 200 million dollars in his next contract when his current one wraps up after the 2011 season. This has been the source of much consternation for Brewers fans, with many feeling like Teddy KGB up here and wanting the Brewers to just find the money somehow someway and keep him here for years to come. And  I want to preface my feelings by saying that, yeah, I want Prince to stay too. Who wouldn't want a near .300 average, 40 bombs and 120 RBI a year? But the bottom line is that this discussion feels EXACTLY like one we had last offseason while trying to sign CC Sabathia. In fact I could probably just find the blog I wrote then, use search and replace to remove 'CC' and add 'Prince' and repost it. Bottom line is that unless Mark Attanasio is willing to up the Brewers payroll from around 90 million to around 110-115 million and lose money every year, this move just doesn't make sense for our team.

    So for the sake of argument let's say you keep him. Sign him for 200 million and 10 years. 20 million a year on a 90 million dollar payroll is like 78% of our money. Roughly. Seriously though, 1/5 of our entire payroll on one player? Then there's this:

    The Brewers scored 785 runs last year. Prince batted in 141. Let's say Prince leaves and we have an average 1st baseman who bats in 75 runs. A difference of 66 runs. Subtract 66 from 785 and you get 719. Divide each by 162 games and you go from 4.8 runs per game to 4.4. Look at that math baby! Seriously did I just invent a theorem? I broke out my TI-82 calculator and everything. And after playing tetris for 15 minutes that is what I came up with. 20 million dollars for a difference of .4 runs? Listen I learned a valuable lesson early in life from a game called Monopoly. Better than any economics course I ever took. And that game showed me that if you own Boardwalk and spend all your money loading it with hotels, you're still taking a risk that your opponent will randomly land on that one spot. Meanwhile you're being bled to death with the Baltic and Pacific avenues of the world. Point being that if 200 million is indeed the STARTING point, the Brewers are better off trading him at some point and getting some decent pitching prospects. Bonus word: trade.

    On second thought.....

    Prince can pitch! Pay him! Pay him his money!

    PS: Is there a more perfect father/son combination to be spokesmen for Mickey D's in 1992? Talk about a lay up for McDonalds.

    PPS: I want a triple cheeseburger. 

  • Marketing 101

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    I was going to blog about this before opening day but I was too busy with other wor…..bwahahaha….I almost typed the whole thing. Yeah I have no excuse for letting this one slip through the cracks but I wanted to throw the pictures up to let everyone see that if teams won championships for marketing the Brewers would be hauling in hardware like the frieking Yankees.

    Now I’ve been buying Brewers 20 packs and 9 packs (and sometimes both) for years, but every March like clockwork my Brewers sales rep sends me mail like this. Basically a lay up drill for this guy when he sends me mail soliciting me to buy tickets to Brewers games. I think I’ve sent his kids through college with the amount of money I spend on tickets and parking. I should record a phone call with him once, I’ve never heard someone so genuinely happy to talk to me in my life. Like I’ll call my parents and they won’t be as amped up to talk to me as Jeff. Probably has something to do with the fact that I call my parents when I need things and I call Jeff when I want to buy things. And the truth is they could send me a torn piece of paper with “Brewers tickets?” written in crayon and I’d still buy them, but I appreciate that after all these years they still do the little things. Come to think of it my relationship with the Brewers tickets/marketing department is probably the healthiest of my life. We both appreciate each other and never take one and other for granted. The drunken texts from Bernie Brewer can get a little annoying (and vulgar) but nothing’s perfect right?

    My only complaint with these is that I never got that last puzzle piece! Like I haven’t put a puzzle together since I was 8 and this one took me a good 10 45 minutes to assemble only to be stymied at the end with the “only piece missing is you.” Brewers Marketing: 1 Jon: 0. So I obviously called and got my tickets and upon arrival I was tearing up the envelope searching for that last puzzle piece only to find nothing! Brewers marketing: 2 Jon: 0. At this point I’m giving up runs like Doug Davis. Bonus word: marketing. Because I think I used that work more in this blog post than you would find in a marketing text book.

    Marketing.

    PS: Upon further review the only thing that would have been more genius than this would be for them to send me one puzzle piece at a time for every 9 pack I buy. Hopefully my guy Jeff isn’t reading this.

    PPS: Photos taken by Lindsey Wolf. I tried to take them but had the camera aimed the wrong way and blinded myself on my first attempt. Techonolgy>me.

     

  • Westbrook to the Pack? Yes Please!

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    If I were a more motivated blogger I would have thrown this picture into Word Paint, inserted a speech box with diabolical laughter coming out of his mouth. But 'motivated' and 'blogger' is an oxymoron, like 'Cubs' and 'championship.' They just don't go together. In a related story do you know how many google image pages I had to go through to find Ted Thompson smiling? I typed 'Ted Thompson; smile' into google and it basically laughed at me. The 9th frieking 'o' page is what it took. So I guess I had some motivation, or just a lot of time to kill. Six of one half dozen of the other. Whatever that means.

    In any case news came out of Green Bay yesterday that Teddy ballgame here is contemplating signing recently released Eagles running back Brian Westbrook to be the Pack's 3rd down back next season. Now I can't imagine why Packers fans would be against this, right now on JSONLINE a poll is up asking if we should sign him and 70% have said yes, while shockingly 30% have said no. That 30 percent must be Vikings, Bears, and Lions personnel? Only explanation because during Westbrook's career he has almost 6,000 career rushing yards, 4,000 career receiving yards and 68 touchdowns in only 8 total seasons. Ho-Hum. Now he has had some leg injuries and the primary reason he is available is because he suffered two concussions last year that held him out of 8 games. But so what if he thinks his name is Todd? Just run to daylight baby! Bottom line is the guy knows our offense inside and out, and if used properly (primarily as a 3rd down back) could be a significant weapon for a team that may only be a move away from championship contention.  Wow, that escalated quickly at the end there.

    He is also the perfect compliment in terms of running style to Ryan Grant. Grant is a smash you in the mouth north/south runner. Westbrook is more shifty and is elusive in open space. Just imagine for a second Rodgers in the shotgun with Grant to his left, Westbrook to his right, Finley lined up tight, and Jennings, Driver, and Nelson/Jones split 3 wide. Defenses will be hitting ctrl+alt+delete to unfreeze like nobody's business.

    So there you have it. Ted Thompson just waiting for the dust to settle on the free agent market before adding the final strokes to his masterpiece. Now I'll admit, I've pulled a 180 on this guy. In fact if our old blog system was still active you'd probably see anywhere between 1-54 anti-Thompson posts. But I'm sold on him. His draft 'hits' have been far more impactful than his 'misses' have been dreadful. If it weren't for Justin Harrell and Brian Brohm this guy would be compared to Ron Wolf in terms of draft prowess. Like I like him so much that I left the 'fire ted thompson NOW!' group on facebook. Bonus word: packers.

    PS: The other reason I like this move? I made this exact same signing on my Packers Madden franchise on Playstation during this offseason! Now all he has to do is trade for Larry Fitzgerald and Adrian Peterson, sign Ray Lewis and we'll be good to go. Honestly anyone who plays Madden knows that Westbrook is a BEAST in that game, Bo Jackson Tecmo Super Bowl stuff: (Bob Sanders must be coordinating the red team defense).

  • Another one bites the dust....

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Man it's been a tough year in the video game world. First Donkey Kong's record goes down, then Frogger, and now Asteroids? It's like the summer of '98 in baseball when home run records were dropping like flies! Well I stood by ignorantly then and assumed it was all legit, but not this time. I want testing! Amphetamines, steroids,  abnormally high levels of Jolt or Mountain Dew! Also if he had one of those bladder things on where you can just 'relieve' yourself whenever into a plastic bag then I'm calling shenanigans on that was well. Any video gamer knows that 98% of the battle of beating these records is figuring out how to avoid bathroom breaks. Because at the end of the day these games are easy as pie (mmmmmm pie) and the true task is just dedicating yourself for that period of time.

    With all that said I have to thank John McAllister for making my 10 hour sessions of Madden seem like child's play. Next time somebody calls me out for playing my Packers franchise for too long is getting this video of John McAllister playing Asteroids for 55 hours to the face! Like I feel like I need to befriend this guy as a wingman. We go to the bar and he's going on and on about demolishing virtual asteroids and all of a sudden my obsession with the Brewers doesn't seem so bad! I joke about this but if I'm John McAllister I'm 110% putting this on my resume under the "Skills and Achievements" section. Bold, italics, underlined. Boom. Job.

    Without a doubt though my favorite part of this video is listening to the female news anchor try not to laugh at this as she's reading it. Because you could have all the classic video game records in the world, but women do NOT find scoring 14231432543 points on Asteroids a turn on. Trust me. I tried it with Space Invaders. Bonus word: asteroids.

    PS: What is the surge protector/power situation at this guy's house? Cause if the power goes out in hour 52 he is going to actually go on a rampage.

    PPS: I saw this show on the Discovery Channel about asteroids that are on a path for Earth in the next 40 years. Can we get John McAllister on this? That would seem to be the practical application here right? Like if the dinosaurs had John McAllister's pinpoint accuracy and deft maneuvering I'd be looking at a velociraptor outside the studio right now. Or one would be hosting the show with me?

  • Even Steven?

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Well friends for the first time in my nearly 15 year relationship with the intarwebs, today I am disappointed. Two days ago news broke that Ken Macha had penciled in Jeff Suppan as the Brewers #5 starter. So I was down. Then yesterday came news that Doug Melvin had locked in Yovani Gallardo for a 5 year deal that keeps here until 2015. So I was up. I evened out so to speak. So while I was plotting this blog out I was trying to think of a video that could accompany the Brewers keeping their fans on an even keel. And of course the first thing that popped into my head is the Seinfeld episode where Jerry is, according to Kramer, Even Steven. So I said to myself, "Jon," I said, "this should be easy enough, you've used Seinfeld clips in nearly every blog you've written in the past year, just hit up youtube, grab the video, and then focus on not ruining a Seinfeld episode with you blah blag blahing." The only problem was that video apparently does not exist on the internet. I tried youtube. I tried google. Wikipedia. Hulu. Nope, negatory, nada, try again. I even tried 90 different ways of searching it,

    "seinfeld even steven"

    "seinfeld everything even out"

    "kramer calls jerry even steven"

    "brewers/cubs ticket specials"

    "jerry loses a gig at one place then immediately gets a gig at a new place prompting kramer to call him even steven"

    Okay so the Brewers one snuck in there and I may have gotten too wordy on the last one but you get the point. I even searched to the 4th "o" page on google and nothing. Just other Seinfeld clips and a library of the Disney show "Even Steven." I knew at some point in my life Shia Labeuof would screw me! So after spending 17 full minutes scouring the internet the best I could do was find the episode script. I guess it is in the 'opposite' episode where George does the opposite of every instinct. So in a way the even steven thing probably gets lost. Bonus word: boo.

    PS: This Gallardo thing really is a big deal. Braun and Yovani both locked in until 2015. We essentially bought 5 championships. Memo to Prince: duplicate this process. Please. Also Jeff Suppan must have some kind of behind the scenes dirt on Ken Macha. Only explanation as to how that guy continues to get starts. Maybe he'll turn it around this y.....bwahahaha....I couldn't even type the whole thing.

    PPS: My original title for this was going to be "Hey-YO." I could have won a Pulitzer in the 1930's for headline writing.

  • Bucks loss is Brewers gain?

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Yesterday Andrew Bogut posted pictures to his Twitter of the cast he has to sport for the next 6 weeks while recovering from his broken hand, dislocated elbow, and sprained wrist. I had to laugh by the way at the text update I got from the Bucks the Sunday morning after the injury. "Bogut out for the season after suffering a broken hand, dislocated elbow, AND sprained wrist." With the "AND" in all caps. As if to say, "damn, if it weren't for that sprained wrist he would have been in the lineup tomorrow!" And yes I signed up for Bucks text updates. Before they started winning. Herb Kohl didn't even sign up for that service, and there is a distinct possibility that Bango is writing the texts. Anyhow here is the pic:

    Here's a sign that you have not lived a hard life (read:me). My first thought "my god, what if he uses his right hand for working the mouse on his computer!?" Seriously though, try using your left hand once to operate a mouse for 15 minutes. Brutal.

    Aside from that the next thought that popped into my head is that there is a real chance that we next see Andrew Bogut in a Brewers uniform, not a Bucks uniform. The reason for this? Watch:

    The ol' tendons fused to the humerus! And that guy is a real doctor, so you know it's legit. T-minus 6 weeks until Bogut is throwing 105mph heat at Miller Park. Hell may as well just trade Bogut for Suppan straight up. My guess is Soup would contribute more to the Bucks injury list than the Brewers anyway. Bonus word: pitch.

    PS: Twitter and Facebook is where I get 90 percent of my information these days. The other 10 percent is whatever news I run into while I'm trying to sign in to my fantasy baseball account on yahoo.

    PPS: Funky Butt Lovin is my team name in 7 of my 8 fantasy baseball leagues. I spend anywhere between 8 minutes and 4 days trying to come up with a good fantasy team name, and this year I hit a walk off with this one! Also there is not a boy who grew up in the 90's and watched Rookie of the Year that was not trying to intentionally injure his shoulder and arm to make this story become a reality. 12 year olds just ramming their arms into walls and stuff.

     

     

  • Playoffs?!

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Without a doubt the #1 regret in Jim Mora's life is not copyrighting this sound byte the second that press conference ended. Because he would be swimming in a vault full of gold coins like Scrooge McDuck by now if he had. Like I've used this video at least 17 times since this blog started, and I would 120% pay a fee to use it if I had to because it is pure gold and can be applied to all things in life. I'm almost certain if I just screamed "Playoffs!" into a crowd of sports fans every single one of them would reply "Playoffs?" without hesitation. Live and learn I guess.

    Anyhow that is not the point of this blog. The point is the Bucks clinched a playoff spot last night. The Milwaukee Bucks. In the NBA playoffs. Like to see if they can win a championship or not. Now I'm not one for doomsday Mayan calendar 2012 blah blah blah theories, but this has to be a sign of the apocalypse right? I went to Catholic school for close to 9 years, and I'm pretty sure that the book of Revelation reads; locusts, plague, four horsemen, Bucks playoff games. It's the last frieking one. And the even more surprising thing is that they clinched a game after they lost their best player Andrew Bogut to a....I was going to say horrifying but even that doesn't begin to describe it.....arm injury. In fact after that loss some no talent hack wrote this on his sports blog:

    "So that should pretty much do it for the Bucks this season. It sucks that their whole season revolves around one guy, but the truth is he's our only low post threat and best defender."

    I mean just total busch league stuff right there. Way to have faith man. Amateur. Even more shocking than the playoffs is this photo post game:

    That's Bucks head coach Scott Skiles. Smiling. Well, smiling is a qualitative term for Scott. Anyone who watched him play or coach knows that this is about as excited as Skiles gets about anything. He could win the lottery and be indifferent. So while clinching doesn't magic up Bogut a new arm, and while they may get ousted in the first round, they have 43 wins and counting and are on their way to the tournament for the first time since 2005-06. Not bad for a team predicted to win 16 games this year. Bonus word: deer.

    PS: I was halfway through this blog when I read on JSONLINE that Jeff Suppan has officially been named the Brewers 5th starter and will start next week against the Cubs (you're welcome Chicago). I thought about abandoning this blog in favor of the more recent news, but it's cloudy out, and if I blog about Suppan for the 3rd time in 7 days I may lose it. George is gettin upset!