Sports & More Strange Brew Sports & More Strange Brew

  • Tebow in Green Bay?

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    The perfect storm sports month just keeps rolling on baby! Spring training underway, Big Ten tournament starts for Bucky, Marquette in the Big East tourney semi's tonight, selection Sunday this weekend, Bucks making a playoff push, 24 days till opening day, and 41 days until the NFL draft. Between all of that rolling right into Packer preseason I can expect to have an anxiety free day sometime next February. You like how I slipped the Bucks in there again? I'm going to bring them up in every blog for at least a mention until all 17 people who read this blog are subconsciously turning on Bucks games without knowing why or how it happened. I'm like David Blaine for Bucks propoganda.

    Anyhow I noticed a story from Green Bay last week about the Packers potentially making a move to draft quarterback Tim Tebow out of Florida if he's around in the 2nd or 3rd round. Tebow has been the source of a lot of consternation at the NFL scouting combine because he seems like one of those players who dominated college, but projects poorly in the NFL (paging Danny Wuerffel). His throwing motion is awkward, and Florida used him as a scrambling QB 50% of the time, the problem being that his speed may or may not translate to the much faster NFL game. And on top of all that he is mostly hated outside of Florida football circles for being outspoken on religious values, being anti-abortion, blah blah blah.

    Typically I don't get sucked into a sugary sweet storyline of a kid who not only wins, but basically walks on water when it comes to caring for his fellow man. The skeptic inside of me tends to think it's all a PR move. But I'll admit, like a Hooters waitress asking if I want to open a tab, this kid has me hook, line and sinker. Because the bottom line is Tebow not only has the passion of a kid just trying to make the team, he also wins football games. National championship in 2009, Heisman Trophy winner in 2007 as a sophomore and finished in the top 5 in 2008 and 2009. All while racking up 432 wins at Florida in 4 years. Ho-Hum. Nothing to see here.

    So during the combine McCarthy has said he'd 'love to coach Tebow,' and Thompson has shown more than a passing interest in drafting him as well. Although with Thompson it's tough to tell. You could kick that guy in the groin and he would still have the emotion of a robot. But why would we draft a quarterback project when we already have Rodgers? Because Ted Thompson plays chess while everyone plays checkers that's why. Clearly Tebow is not going to be ready to play in the near future, which is fine because we already have a hall of fame (too soon?) quarterback in Rodgers. And Flynn looks more than serviceable as a back up. But who do we even have as a 3rd string qb? Honestly does anyone know? Bueller? Is Ty Detmer looking for work? The point is draft this kid and put him under the tutelage of a franchise that is a quarterback factory. Bonus word: tebow.

    And again while I would normally roll my eyes at press conference posturing, for some reason I believe Tebow genuinely is hurt when he loses. This was after an upset loss Florida suffered against Ole Miss in 2008. Florida didn't lose a single game after these comments and won the national championship 5 months later.

     

  • Team CoCo is hitting the Streets!

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Well rumors have been swirling for weeks about Conan O'Brien going 'on tour' because he legally can't be on TV until September. And thanks to my staunch allegiance to Team CoCo's facebook fan page I saw an update this morning that Conan will in fact be embarking on a 30 city tour starting on April 12th!

    As a sidenote are facebook fan pages my generation's version of strikes, sit-ins, or protests? Oh you're taking Conan off the air after 7 months and putting Jay back in the late night seat? BAM facebook support page for Conan. Don't like the Cubs? BAM, facebook fan page entitled "Cubs Suck" (and about 17 different variations such as, 'Cubs Blow', or the more to the point "Cubs are not good at baseball').  Don't like people who use 'BAM' before everything? BLAMO "Ban on BAM' facebook fan page. So far I haven't found a "Strange Brew Sports and More is the worst blog of all time" facebook page, so until that day comes I'm going to assume this blog is one of the best blogs on the internet medicore at best.

    Anyway here's the link for tour dates;

    http://teamcoco.com/

    The only issue I take with this is that he will not be coming to Wisconsin, the closest date is in Bear country in Chicago. Very rare are the situations where you will find me in Chicago. In fact that will probably be in my obituary one day: 'Jon loved him some Brewers, ate a diet of Slim Jims, and very rarely visited Chicago.' But this is an instance where I will waive that rule. May 19th. Book it. Although I did consider making a "Can't believe CoCo isn't coming to Wisconsin' facebook page. Bonus word: coco. And just because I can't make a Conan blog without adding a youtube Conan sketch, here you go:

    PS: I am the creator and administrator of 93% of those anti-Cubs facebook pages.

    PPS: Carlos Zambrano is a member of all of them.

  • Get me this Grandma DJ!

    Posted by Jon Henseler

     

    Move over Puff Daddy P Diddy Sean Combs Diddy! DJ Ruth Flowers is in the house! Man how old am I? 'In the house?' Do kids still say that these days? I should probably just email DJ Ruth. 160% chance she will know something cooler to say anyway.

    Honestly how awesome is this story. From the shades to the bedazzled headphones. To steal a line from Spinal Tap, DJ Ruth's 'badassness' goes to 11. I even watched a 60 second ad at the beginning before the story started just because the title intrigued me that much. And while the beginning of the story was hilarious she had me at the "I rather think I dooo" line at the :38 second mark. Brillant. Just the perfect balance of cockiness and sweet grandma-ness. I've used this line at least 17 times already this morning:

    Eddie: I don't think you want to be napping while your supposed to me on the air.

    Me: I rather think I do.

    Eddie: I don't think you want to miss breaks because you are pre-ranking fantasy baseball players.

    Me: I rather think I do.

    Eddie: The Brewers suck. Don't you just want to give up on them and root for the Cubs instead?

    Me. I rather think I do.

    Yeah he got me on that last one. Well played Edgar. Needless to say I'm tendering my resignation today. There is absolutely no reason I should have a job in broadcasting and DJ Ruth doesn't. To deprive the world of that? I don't think I could live with myself. Bonus word: ruth.

    PS: Notice that I was actually on a NEWS site to find this?! And it wasn't even a link from milwaukeebrewers.com or espn.com. That=maturation.

    PPS: Truth be told I went to ESPN's website and got the "Internet Explorer cannot display page" notice. Naturally I panicked and somehow ended up on CBS's news page.

  • All in.

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    I have to admit up front that I stole this video from my co-worker Jeff, who works for a sister station here in the building. I was too busy reading Brewers cactus league reports to find out what was 'trending' (look at that new age vocab, I just leveled up in the networking world!) on the intarwebs yesterday. It's tough to be everywhere you know? But he's a facebook friend of mine, and everyone knows in the facebook world if you post something it's fair game for someone else to steal and claim as their own. It's on that 'terms and conditions' thing that nobody reads, Article V, subsection 1a. He knew the rules when he signed up.

    Now while this footage is amazing I think the funniest part is watching the reaction of the players in a high stakes poker match. You know this Joh character has pocket queens and has been stringing Huber around the whole time while he waits for a flush. Now the river hits and he's about to cash in on his brilliant slow play and BAM! John Dillinger walks through the door holding everyone up! Talk about bad luck. And you know he's got something when he basically has to be shoved away from the table at the :18 second mark. Honestly I'd be worried if I was that robber, I've hung around serious poker players and when they have cards and are about to double up you do NOT want to mess with them. My buddy Paul is one such guy. One time during summer break from college we all got together for some hold 'em and Paul was in an almost identical situation when he discovered that me and my buddy Steve were secretly working as a tandem to try eliminate him and split the remaining winnings. He went ballistic, incredible Hulk type stuff. And we were playing with Pringles as chips (no pun intended...alright that's a lie, 150% intended). Bonus word: poker.

    PS: Lamest subject line of all time. Truth be told I stared at that line for 6 full minutes and couldn't think of anything better. Fail.

  • Kampman=Class.

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Google image search=fail. I typed in "Aaron Kampan" into their search engine and lo and behold page 1 contains THIS picture of Cullen Jenkins. Now either Cullen Jenkins is in control of google's image search function and no matter what you type in you get this picture, or google needs to get it together. I mean if I can't trust google what can I trust. Do I have to go back to Yahoo! like it's freakin 1997 or something google? Anyway here's a more accurate photo:

    Now that I look at them side by side I can see where the confusion came in. Anyhow you may have heard that Kampman signed a 4 year contract with the Jacksonville Jaguars over the weekend. Hopefully their tens of fans will appreciate him like Packer nation did. Honestly this is one of those situations where you can't be mad at Kampman because he was nothing but class his entire time here, he just didn't fit into the new defensive scheme. You can't be mad at the new defensive scheme because for the most part it was effective, minus that whole giving up 51 points in the playoff circus. And you can't get mad at Ted Thompson (and most days I look for a reason) for not ponying up 27 million for a guy who was a fish out of water in the 3-4. Just wish him well and hope he has a great rest of his career unless he's playing Green Bay.  

    It's too bad too because not only did Kampman put up great numbers during his tenure in Green Bay, he was a no-nonsense player with the media and never complained even though the Packers went out of their way to put in a new defense where he didn't necessarily 'fit.' Instead of complaining to the media or defriending them on Facebook, he tried his hardest to learn it and succeed. And although it looked like he was getting better right before the injury, he was essentially trying to relearn football. It's like when my buddy Doug and I had a Madden bet during college in 2005. We played Madden once a week for 17 weeks, and whoever won the most games bought a keg for Brewers opening day. Problem was I played on Playstation and he played on Wii. So when we played on Nintendo I just couldn't get my bearings, Playstation was my 4-3 defense and the Wii my 3-4. So that's pretty much what Kampman was going through. Bonus word: kampman.

    PS: There's no way I could ever go back to Yahoo. I'm German, and once I change something, that's it. Like when I upgraded from Dos Prompt to Windows in 1995 January. No going back now.

  • Stay Classy Barry!

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Is Barry Zito serious yesterday? First pitch of spring training and beaning Fielder for a home run celebration that happened 17 years ago? Whatever bro. I guess it does make Zito relevant for the first time since he started stealing money from the Giants at a rate that would make Danny Ocean proud. Seriously if you want to feel BETTER about the Jeff Suppan contract take a look at the money Zito's making for about the same amount of production. Makes it look like we're paying Suppan in Slim Jims. Anyhow this was the big headline of the Brewers spring training opener. A retaliation shot for this:

    Contented Sigh. I could have watched this thing 27 times already this morning. It should have it's own facebook fan page. Luckily for Prince 'fastball' is a qualitative term for Zito these days. I can't wait for the first time Zito toes the rubber at Miller Park this season. Because if you think he has a good memory to relatiate for that, remember that the majority of Southeastern Wisconsin is German, we don't forget ANYTHING. I'll be booing Zito's kids in little league in 10 years. In any case I'd like to thank Barry for getting Prince his focus early this year. Look for Fielder to go yard 43234 times on the Giants this year, and that's a conservative estimate. Bonus word: spring.

    PS: While this got all of the headlines yesterday, if I were writing the recap the title would have read "Jeff Suppan Throws 2 Scoreless." Because I don't care if he's throwing to a batting tee at Wildwood that was the most shocking thing about yesterday.

    Doulbe PS: Look for Suppan to have a bounceback year this year. I can just feel it. And normally I'm like 21% accurate when it comes to these predictions. Plus it's a contract year for him, and you can't tell me he doesn't want to get one more 2 year deal on the West Coast at the end of the season. Player's always dominate during their contract year. It's Baseball 101.

  • Best. Sports. Month. EVAR.

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Ahhhhh March. Far and away the greatest sports month of the year. Like the perfect storm of NCAA tournament basketball, spring training NFL draft talk, and the Bucks competing for a playoff spot. Wait what? That last one is still bizarre to type. Honestly though it doesn't get much better than this, February got so boring I actually found myself accomplishing things at work. And I'll be damned if I spend two consecutive months being productive. Can't happen. Won't happen.

    So why post a picture of Aaron Rodgers during his introductory press conference at Lambeau in 2005? Because I'd like to issue an apology retroactive to draft day 2005 when I threw a half drunk cup of PBR at my 13 inch TV/VCR combo in my college house when the Packers 'wasted' their first round pick on a quarterback with Brett Favre already in the saddle. It was immature and wrong....and a waste of good PBR. With that here are some musings about the Packer's offseason so far and early draft discussions.

    - The franchise tag on Ryan Pickett was smart decision by Ted Thompson. See how much I've grown? Not only can I admit I was wrong about Rodgers, I can use 'smart' and 'Ted Thompson' in the same sentence. Pickett was an unsung hero on a defense that was stingy against the run last season. And while he is getting up there in years, if you let him walk you are rolling the dice on a guy like Justin Harrell being productive. Which brings me to point #2;

    - You see that guy? He's doing more with Justin Harrell's name than anyone. I mean this guy had to be horrified when he found out a first round pick in the NFL had the same name as him, but there is a greater likelihood of #91 getting a call on real estate than this guy be hassled for an autograph. From what McCarthy was saying at the combine, Harrell has lost 20 pounds and is in the 'best shape he's ever seen him in.' I guess that's 20 less pounds of him to get angry at? This guy has to show something in camp or it's time to cut ties, he's been so non-relevant in his two years in Green Bay that I'm more likely to send out an Amber alert for him than see him make an impact play.

    - McCarthy names Jermichael Finley the starter over Donald Lee at tight end. This implies that Donald Lee was still our starting tight end last year? Is Donald Lee even starting himself when he plays with the Pack on Madden anymore?

    - Jeremy Kapinos was not tendered a contract which means I no longer have to choke back vomit on 4th down when he trots out to knuckleball a kick through the back of the endzone. Get a real kick returner and punter through free agency.

    - Nick Collins did get a contract but not the long term one he was looking for. Honestly Collins must have hit on a coaches daughter or something. Only explanation. Back to back Pro Bowl appearances and still young. I'd take him as my safety 7 days a week and twice on Sundays. Pay this man his money.

    And I bet you were expecting a Brewer blog on the opening day of spring training! Then boom. The ol' switchero. I hit you with some Green and Gold. Better than the Bucks again though right? I could have blogged about the finer points of crocheting though and it would have seemed like a whiff of smelling salts after Bucks talk. Bonus word: crochet.

  • Score one for Bango

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Note to self: Become Mascot, slay the ladies. Seriously well played here Bango, he saw the post about Bucky Badger crushing it in Madtown and couldn't just stand idly by. Plus it's not a coincidence that the Bucks are over .500 for the first time since 1981 and these pictures are surfacing. Just capitalizing on the Bucks newfound first success. Classic Bango. In a related story how long is it going to take the IT department at Sheboygan Radio Group to raise questions about my google searches of "bucky badger; women" and "bango/lady pics." Am I going to be sitting next to Tiger Woods at some Mascot sex rehab clinic next week?

    Anyway I'm not sure anyone has noticed outside of myself, my dad, and Scott Skiles (and even he probably hasn't been paying that close attention), but the Bucks are playing good basketball. Seriously. My Word document just drew a red squiggly line under that sentence because it just doesn't sound right. And they're doing it by sharing the basketball and playing defense. Another red squiggly line. It's like the Seinfeld episode where Costanza wakes up and decides to do the opposite of every inclination he has. If everything the Bucks have been doing for the past decade is wrong, the opposite must be right. And so far it has paid off, I mean this team is not only in the playoff conversation, they are rising in the standings every week. Is there going to be a situation in April where I have to decide between a Brewers regular season game and a Bucks playoff g....hahaha, alright let's not get TOO far ahead of ourselves.

    Honestly though if you are a basketball fan and haven't checked this team out watch their next game on Wednesday. Then call me to talk about it because I might be the only NBA fan left on the planet and my co-workers are sick of hearing about me talking up the Bucks every morning. And by my 'co-workers' I mean my 'coffee mug.' Bonus word: bucks.   

    PS: The Sheboyganite inside of my is 140% hoping a Bucks employee stumbles upon this blog and sends me free tickets. Because make no mistake about it, I am the only person out there spitting Bucks propoganda on innocent, wholesome people.

     

  • Well said Peter....

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Well played Canada. After shocking team Canada last Sunday, 5-3, the Canadians got their revenge with a 3-2 overtime win yesterday afternoon in a thrilling hockey match. (I'm using 'thrilling' before 'hockey match' now? I=full on sports dementia). So with the series even at one a piece that sets up a critical showdown coming next week in a winner take all, tie-breaking third match! Wait.....it's over? What? They get the gold and we get the silver? But we each won one matchup right? So because they won the second matchup they win it all? In the words of Vince Lombardi; What the hell's going on out there?!

    Honestly that is one of my biggest complaints with things like the Olympics and the World Cup. You can beat a team once, they can beat you once, but if they beat you in the right round, they win it all. Just plain weak. Not to mention we beat them by 2 goals, they beat us by 1. I'm no mather major but I think that means we won the total 'goals scored' count by like 17. In a related story I'm taking a stand on Olympic hockey? Really?

    So Canada takes home the gold in hockey. Big whoop. Canadians are good at two things;

    1. Hockey

    2. Funny accents

    And I typed in 'things Canadians are good at' into Google to find that, so you know it's accurate. Americans on the other hand?

    1. Everything

    So there you have it. America was too busy winning the total medal count (37) and dominating everything else to take first in the one sport Canada truly cared about winning. Also, check out the blog right below this one, do you think one of the greatest inventors of our generation, the creator of Beer Bot is from Canada? For sure not. So have fun with your gold medals Canada, while 95% of your players come back to the good ol' U S of A to continue their NHL careers and while the rest of the world goes back to ignoring hockey for the next 4 years. Bonus word: hockey.

  • Speechless.

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    And by 'speechless' I mean 'about to make tons of useless comments' but whatever, if I learned one thing in journalism class at North High it's that you need an attention grabbing headline to lure people into your medicore writing. And if I learned two things it's that Joseph Pulitzer was kind of a jerk. See? Who says I drank all my knowledge away in college.   

    Anyhow I'm not sure what shocks me more about this video, the fact that this invention exists, or the fact that this was posted on youtube TWO YEARS ago and I had no idea about it. Typically I have a sixth sense for when beer inventions come to fruition. That plus my entire job is basically tooling around the internet tireless scouring the information superhighway for entertaining and informative show prep. And the only reason I know about it now is that my buddy, Tony, sent it to me in one of those forward emails. Now typically I'll just delete those and move on with my life because everytime I open one I end up wanting the last minute of my life back. But for whatever reason, as I was about to click delete, something in my brain said 'if you leave work early one more time you'll probably get fired, so just open this email up and act like you're doing something.' Then I watched a video that changed my life. Well played brain, well played.

    Needless to say this is up there with the best inventions of all time. DVD movies, wireless intarwebs, HDTV, stuffed crusted pizza, my beer bottle opener that plays 'On Wisconsin" when I open a beer, and beer throwing robot. I don't want this robot. I need it. So mom, here's an early Christmas list;

    1. Beer Throwing Robot

    2. Lifetime supply of Arby's.

    3. Packer's season tickets

    4. Season 7 of Two and a Half Men

    Boom. Done 10 months early. Bonus word: robot.

    PS: I can't even bring myself to go to my fridge anymore and get a beer. All I think about as I'm walking 3 feet to my kitchen is how beer bot could be doing all this work for me. I mean, I'll go to the gym if I want to work out.

  • USA! USA!

    Posted by Jon Henseler

    Cue up Hulk Hogan's Real American baby! USA! USA! Seriously does Canada even count as a country anymore? I've never been as invested in a hockey game (or match?) in my life. Something about Olympic hockey gets me 140% invested in the sport for two weeks every four years. Then I vow to pick an NHL team and follow it, then spring training starts and I lose all interest. Come to think of it that's how a lot of my sentences end this time of year 'I started ________ then spring traning starts and I lose all interest.'

    In any case this is a giant upset if only because hockey is Canada's calling card and it was in their home country. This would be like a team from the CFL beating the Super Bowl Champion. Or Molson winning beer competitions in the heartland. Ugh....I get cold chills just thinking about it. In a related story is 10am too early to be blogging about beer and kind of feel like having one?

    The best part is purusing the intarwebs this morning and watching all of the Canadian fans in Vancouver bars crying into their beers as team USA drank their hockey milkshake. And on top of that there were like two United States fans in every establishment and once it was over USA fans did what USA fans do best: be loud and obnoxious! Now I know what you're saying, the game last night wasn't for the gold medal, Canada could still get a rematch, blah blah blah. But the timing of our rise to dominance in international hockey is not a flash in the pan or coincidental. It's 2010. The movie Mighty Ducks came out in 1992. that means hockey players now have grown up watching the Ducks overcome adversity with teamwork, leadership, and of course, the power of the flying V. So yeah, we've pretty much got this. Bonus word: ducks.

    Also I think I'm going to start an official petition to get the IOC to play Real American after the national anthem for every gold medal that American wins. That plus Hacksaw Jim Duggan should be official cheerleader for the United States. So far I've got my signature and my coffee mug's.

    PS: Fast forward to minute 1:30 and watch Hogan spit on Russia's flag. That's just how we roll!

     

  • Well played Tiger...

    Posted by Jon Henseler

     

    Ahhhhhh. The ol' "I'm a Buddhist and need to learn to control my impulses" line. As old as time itself. Honestly he sucked me in with that psycho babble. I don't blame him for anything now. Game, set, match Tiger. The next time I get called out for playing Call of Duty for 9 consecutive hours without blinking: Hey man, lay off, I'm a Buddhist and I'm trying to control my impulses.

    Honestly does anyone really care about this? This press conference seemed more than unnecessary. You're Tiger freaking Woods. Just come back to the course, get booed, issue beat downs on Sunday while wearing a red polo, get cheered. It's simple athlete math. Even I know that. And don't tell me for a second that this guy is not going to golf at the Masters. He played coy in this statement with open ended statements about not knowing when he'd be back blah blah blah. This guy is 140% golfing at Augusta. Although how big of a dream scenario would it be for our own Whistling Straits if he returned at the PGA Championship. Also if I were on the tour (and based on my average scores in Tiger Woods Golf I should be) I would be horrified of this comeback. Do you know how much better he is going to be now that he doesn't have mistresses running around the golf course? That plus he's angry. My guess is he has Nicklaus's record broken by the end of 2010. Bonus word: waste. As in that was a gigantic waste of 15 minutes.

    As a sidenote I am thoroughly disappointed that Woods didn't take this opportunity to utilize one of the great Costanzaisms. Here's how the press conference SHOULD have opened: "Was I wrong? Should I not have done that? I gotta tell ya, I have to plead ignorance here because if someone had told me that that type of thing was frowned upon...."

    PS: How is sex rehab a place? That has jobs that pay real money? I've got your solution to addiction: fantasy baseball. Seriously, join a league and you won't think of think of beer, cigarettes, or whatever you're addicted too. Course I guess that sort of means you'd be addicted to fantasy baseball. Catch-22.

    Double PS: Sign of the time: Literally 14 seconds after this press conference was done I was on youtube trying to find videos to post and was frustrated when nothing was up yet.