In case you didn't see this dunk and the complete and utter destruction of THE Ohio State basketball program yesterday, here you go. Only thing missing from this dunk was some old school NBA Jam BOOM SHAKA LAKA afterwards. Bro makes Shaq look like Larry Bird at the free throw line but if you rock a sick fade and can throw down like that I guess we'll take it. Badgers stay in 2nd in the Big Ten, Marquette tied for first in the Big East. Bracketology so hot right now. Braketology.
And in a related story, Ohio State, your basketball team WOOF. Gospel according to McAllister.
PS: This dunk is reason #324325 why Gus Johnson not calling college hoops is a national tragedy. I feel like he sheds a tear everytime there's a sick play like this and he's not there to call it.
Alright so it's a stated goal for me in 2013 to get more into NASCAR. We've had a lot of listeners say they love all the talk in the morning about the Brewers and the Packers, how they think it's great that Midwest Communications gave a young girl the chance to host a morning show solo blah blah blah, but they want more NASCAR discussion. And in the interest of keeping the few fans I still have, I made it my quest to learn NASCAR top to bottom this season. Now if we're in the trust tree with the nest, I can't say I've ever stayed awake for an entire NASCAR race. But that was before I knew you could gamble on it! You know the old expression, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink? Well if that water is the thrill of winning or losing money and that horse is a degenerate gambler then he will drink until he bursts/is broke. So that is my gateway. By Monday morning I'll either be rich or broke, but I'll be a 10th level NASCAR ninja and that's a promise.
So with that said I have a question for the NASCAR fans out there; is Danica taking the pole for Daytona a big deal? First female ever to do it? I gotta be honest I thought it was a cool fact but didn't give it much thought beyond that. Then I go on post boards this morning and see a LOT of sexist commentary telling Danica to get back in the kitchen and several pole related jokes that were tasteless/hilarious. Now again, internet comment boards are like the Wild West of the internet, anything goes. But are there NASCAR fans like legit upset that a woman won the pole? I dunno.
PS: Is Anchorman the most quotable movie in the last two decades. Like that and Billy Madison to me are the top 2 with Old School a close 3rd. Also I have never been so exicted and horrified for a sequel in my life. Anchorman 2 is either going to a 10 out of 10 or a 0.
Double PS: Signs you don't live in the real world: whether or not Anchorman 2 ruins the original is a legit concern in your life.
Well folks rumors were starting to spread this morning that the Packers may release Charles Woodson and after doing some CSI work (googling different versions of 'charles woodson release') it appears as though NFL.com has a report up that this move is 'pending.' I guess I can't say I'm surprised after this past season and the amount of money Woodson is owed over the next two years. Bottom line is the Packers have a few MASSIVE extensions they need to get inked with Matthews and Rodgers and Raji and paying 10 million (or so) a year for an aging cornerback/safety probably isn't what people would call 'fiscally responsible.'
On the other hand this flat out sucks. Two of our favorite guys gone in the span of a week in Driver and Woodson. Again, the standard of what this regime (Murphy, Thompson) does with aging veterans has been clear pretty much since day 1 but that doesn't mean we as fans can't be sad about it. No one knew what to expect when they signed Woodson in 2006 and what we got was a great community leader and a guy that solidified a hall of fame career with numerous pick-6's and a defensive player of the year. We had a blog up earlier this year examining the impact on the field of Woodson and White and who was ultimately the better free agent signing if you take out the 'impact' of White's signing. And I realize this may be blasphemy to some, but if we're in the trust tree with the nest, I think it's Woodson. We'll miss you Charles! Good luck unless you sign with the Bears/Vikings/Lions/Eagles/Patriots/Anyone in the NFC West!
PS: I guess we can erase the 'It's been ___ days since I last cried over a Packer' and set it back to 0. Made it 9 whole days! A new high score!
Well folks it pains me to say this, but today the terrorists won. I mean Gus Johnson calling soccer? Really? I hope you're happy CBS. It's bad enough I have to suffer through March Madness with Jim Nantz calling championship games like he's reading a Matt Christopher novel to a 6 year old at a library. Now the only chance I get to hear Gus Johnson is in international soccer matches? Great. What's next America? Are we going to send our greatest actors (Nicolas Cage, Tom Selleck) to star in European films? Are we going to replace baseball with cricket? Are we going to stop exporting all of our jobs for cheap labor overseas? May as well give Hacksaw Jim Duggan a Russian flag and call it a day.
And the worst part is that international soccer fans are universally RIPPING him for his effort:
Memo to 1Giggst1: Bro, we gave you one of our cherished native sons. Gus Johnson literally makes everything better. He's bacon. This would be like the French shipping us the Statue of Liberty and us saying no thanks.
PS: Legit idea for Gus Johnson. Stat a ustream channel where all you do is call major sporting events (Super Bowl, World Series, Final Four) from your living room in real time. People will come Gus. People will come. (let's act like adults)
Double PS: And for those that think I need to open my mind up and start to accept the fact that soccer is the largest sport in the world I have a message for you: Nobody cares. It's soccer. Soccer. Ignorant American till the death of me.
Didn't we just write this blog last year? I'm almost 200% positive we had some story about Brandon Jennings not wanting to be in Milwaukee at this point last season. Sadly I have no idea how to search my blog archives so I can just ctrl+c, ctrl+p this bad boy so I guess we'll just write the same things that 2012 Jon wrote.
Bottom line is basically this, Chad Ford reported yesterday that BJ no longer wants to be in Milwaukee. That's why he hired a new agent last week and he gave that agent an ultimatum to get him out via trade or free agency at the end of the year. The direct quote I guess was that Jennings has 'irreconcilable differneces' that can't be rectified. To which I say, preach Brandon! Preach! Hell I've got some irreconcilable differences with the Bucks too. I can't pinpoint where they started. Probably began with trading Dirk for Tractor Traylor or abandoning the ONE guy who actually wanted to play in Milwaukee in Ray Allen just so we could watch a broke down Gary Payton for two months. Bro you don't want to play for the Bucks? I don't want to root for the Bucks and I'm a Bucks fan! So I get it, I really do. The Bucks will probably never win a title, will never attract a superstar and the likelihood is that you'll never make an all star team or get major endorsement deals playing in Milwaukee. If you're a talented NBA player, playing in Milwaukee is the equivalent of Bobby Flay working at Burger King. And WANTING to play in Milwaukee would require the same mentality of a person who drinks a Bud Light at Oktoberfest. So I understand 1,000%. But here's the thing about Brandon Jennings, I'm glad he feels this way. Dude is NOT a superstar by any stretch and I get the feeling that if he wants to play here we'll give him some crazy Michael Redd money and watch him shoot 37% from the field for 6 years while crippling us financially. Jennings is the kind of guy who would thrive on a team that already has superstars, not where he has to be the man. He's Brick Tamland, not Ron Burgundy. So if he wants out I say we cut ties before we over commit and watch another 10 years go by until we can start over.
And make no mistake, starting over is what this team needs. As far as I'm concerned this needs to be a firesale before Thursday. Ellis, Jennings, Mbah a Moute, just trade what you can for picks, picks and more picks. We need the Thunder model and that's all about getting high end lottery picks and hitting them when they come up. Not going to happen getting picks 10-15 every year. Keep Sanders (Ben Wallace 2.0), Henson and Harris and blow out the cartridge.
PS: This video needs to be sent to John Hammond STAT. Do it John! Fire sale! Fire sale!
Okay so the big story in the sports world yesterday was that the IOC is going to do away with amateur wrestling at the Olympics. And that sentence alone should tell you why we need baseball. Fast.
Anyway I've got a couple of buddies who were amateur wrestlers that were all up in arms about this yesterday. Talking about how it ruins the credibility of the games, how it was a foundation sport, how it's not ghey blah blah blah. Look I can count the amount of minutes I've spent watching Olympic wrestling on one hand but I do agree that if it's been apart of the sport since forever it should probably continue to be. Sort of seems like banning cheese from pizza or Ryan Gosling from romantic comedies. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense but, again, I'm not as up in arms as people who used to wrestle. From what I understand it takes things like discipline, physical strength and stamina and that's a holy trinity that this internet tough guy does not have.
Now what I would really like to see replace amateur wrestling is actual REAL wrestling. Survivor Series style. Each nation gets 4 wrestlers in a King of the Ring style tournament for the gold. Not that I've given it hours upon hours of thought but Team USA would consist of Stone Cold, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair and Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Just seems like the Olympics would be Duggan's shine.
So there you go IOC! No big deal. Strange Brew: babbling on about the Brewers and fixing international competition since 2008.
PS: I can only imagine Louden Swain was heartbroken by this news.
What are you getting your special someone for Valentine’s Day? Roses? Chocolates? A divorce? A Michigan attorney is holding a romantic contest this week which will reward the winners with a free divorce for Valentine’s Day.
Attorney Walter H. Bentley III said:
“The winner will be chosen based on the most compelling and convincing story as to why they should be the winner. The divorce is limited to an uncontested divorce with no or minimum child custody issues.”
Bentley said that divorce may not sound like a romantic way to spend Valentine’s Day but said that it would be even worse to spend the day with someone you don’t love.
Move over Nicholas Sparks! Take a seat Shakespeare! Eat your heart out Christian Grey! Walter H Bentley is here and he's bringing the romance back to Valentine's Day. Honestly I'd like to make fun of this promotion but it's clearly working. 500 submissions already! My only question is who has to read through these puppies. Like I picture some intern at Bentley's law firm having to sit down and read FIVE HUNDRED letters chronicling husbands and wives cheating on each other, neither being able to find a job and their house foreclosing, kids caught in the middle, just real uplifting stuff. Kind of makes me happy I get paid pennies on the dollar to blog about swimsuit models and the Bucks. Actually scratch that last part. I'd say writing a 600 word blog on the Milwaukee Bucks is probably at the very least as bad as reading 500 essays on how someone's life is miserable but they're stuck in it because they can't afford a divorce. Actually I may just submit yesterday's blog to this law firm and see if I can get a fan-divorce from that team. I'm sure if I add more detail about how I spent money on season tickets for 3 straight years, purchased 4 jersey's and sat through the Larry Harris era they'd have to grant me something. It's like that Seinfeld where Costanza goes head to head with the Andrea Doria survivor. Just wait until you hear the astonishing tales of Henseler.
PS: I was talking to a buddy the other day and asked him if him and his girlfriend were doing anything for Valentine's Day. Get this; guy legit told me 'she said she doesn't want anything so we're just going to keep it low key.' Ummmmm what? Anytime a girl has ever said 'I don't want anything' she 1,000% wants something. Doesn't have to be major but if you think you're skating away scot-free on Valentine's Day you're going to be in William Bentley's office so fast it will make your head spin. Wake up bro, this is day 1 stuff.
Welp folks in case you're keeping track, since Brent Musberger blew up her spot during the national title game Katherine Webb got a job covering the Super Bowl with Inside Edition, joined some celebrity diving TV show, potentially could be joining Dancing with the Stars and just did a photo shoot for SI's swimsuit edition. So while the rest of the world wanted Chris Hanson to break into the broadcasting booth when Brent Musberger called her 'beautiful' and implied that all Alabama boys should start tossing spirals if they want to date hot women and play for national championships, Katherine Webb has been hauling in straight cash homey like you read about. Remember kids, there are two ways to make it in this world. Either you bust your butt in school, get into college, get a degree and then get a job you probably could have gotten without going to college, OR have Brent Musberger creep on you on live TV and capitalize on every second of your 15 minutes. America!
PS: I guess Kate Upton is on the cover of the SI swimsuit edition again? Is that out this week? Nudie magazine day! Nudie magazine day!
(credit to youtube user cocomolsu and the toaster oven they used to shoot this video...frieking Zapruder film has better quality)
Well playing the role of Smalls in my life once again are the Milwaukee Bucks. I don't know who watches this team on the regular like I do but it is by far the most frustrating part of my life. Well that and earlier today I had to sit through an entire 30 second ad on youtube before I watched the Justin Timberlake Suit and Tie video for the 2343234th time. Brutal. Kept waiting for the 'skip ad' button to appear but it never did. First world problems are the worst world problems.
Anyhow the point is that the current edition of the Milwaukee Bucks was actually putting together a decent to semi-decent season until about a week and a half ago. Like legitimately 9 days ago this team was 5 games over .500 and sitting in the #7 seed and only a half game out of the #6 seed. Boylan had the offense rocking, Brandon Jennings was on the verge of an all start birth and there were reports of people actually paying face value for tickets*! Cut to 9 days later, a brief two game west coast swing ends disastrously in Denver and Utah, followed by a Jennings snub and a subsequent tank job against the Pistons and now the Wizards. And those last two are what sent my rage to 11. Like despite those losses on the road, they were still two games over with three home games against the Pistons, Wizards and Sixers before the all star break. Win those and maybe make a deal before the deadline and you might be in a decent position come April. But no! Not in Milwaukee! Let's lose to two of the worst teams in the East in resounding fashion! Honest to God last night Tony Smith sighed audibly before saying 'the Bucks are trying really hard.' Awesome Tony! The Milwaukee Bucks: where trying happens. FML.
*Obviously what the kids call a 'J/K' one there. I would argue being a Bucks season tickets rep has to be the most difficult job on the planet. Not just in trying to market the team to people as a form of entertainment, but in trying to compete with Stub Hub prices. Average ticket price to an NBA game face value is around $40. Average price for a home Bucks game on Stub hub is 99 cents. Like I could probably buy season tickets for the Bucks on Stub Hub for $47.
PS: Bill Russell's birthday today. Probably the second greatest player ever behind Jordan. Legit question: present day Bill Russell or present day Joel Pryzbilla if you had to give one 5 minutes a night.
Double PS: Opening day can't get here soon enough. That's two blogs about the Bucks in two weeks.
In case you missed this game on Saturday morning/afternoon it was a Life Alert Special. Actually a pretty good day for Operation Get Me To Opening Day overall. Wisconsin wins a thriller, Marquette stays in first place in the Big East and the Bucks started a 3 game homestand with a dominant performance against an inferior Pistons team. Not too shabby. And if the Badgers aren't in the top 25 when the new rankings come out this morning it is an absolute crime. Beat #2 Indiana AT Indiana, beat Minnesota when they were #12, beat Illinois when they were #12 and now beat the #3 team in the country in Michigan. 8-3 in arguably the toughest conference in the country where every game is a war. There are no opponents that are 'wrestler starting in the ring with generic tights and no intro music' opponents in the Big Ten this year. Maybe Penn State but even they've hung with some top 15 teams despite being 0-11 in conference.
In any case we need A LOT of Saturday's like this past one in the next 6 weeks. Just an absolutely brutal time period in sports. I think I've used this before but we are in the middle of what they called in 'The Never Ending Story' The Nothing. Opening day is still 49 days away, March Madness doesn't really get cranked up for about a month and no football on Sunday's. Which I missed at about 12:32pm* this past Sunday by the way. I turned on NFL Red Zone and it said 'See you in September 2013!' and I started crying like I was locked in a room with Taylor Swift on repeat.
*32 minutes into the first Sunday without the NFL before I get clinically depressed. So a new personal record!
PS: Can't help but feel 1% bad for the people who had money on Michigan. -1.5 line, up by 3 and Ben Brust drinks your milkshake with a half court facial.
Double PS: The fact that more people don't scream 'RAIN DANCE!' after they make big shots is a shame. Sneaky top 10 funniest movie scene in the last 13 years.
Not sure how many people tuned in for the Grammy's but this was the scene stealer last night. Just grabbing a script from the J Lo playbook. Now when I saw this 3 references came to mind and I couldn't decide which to go with. So we'll do this Choose Your Own Adventure style minus the falling off the cliff part.
#1: (in best Jerry the King Lawler voice) Puppies!
#2: It's an optical illusion, it's the pleats, gotta take these back to the pants store.
#3: She looks smart.
PS: Didn't the Grammy counsel send out some kind of memo about TPS Reports and cleavage last week? About how they wanted everyone zipped up and covered to make the event classier? Hey Grammy's! Katy Perry didn't hear no bell! Do you like apples?
I'll tell you what, if camera phones and whatnot existed in 1986 this may well be a video of me. Heck the kid's name is even Jon! And all I can say is I respect this kid 150% for sticking with the lie despite every shred of evidence against them. Deny deny deny. Three simple words that I've used as a guide to my life. Sad thing is most of us don't learn how to lie like this until we're in our teens or twenties. This little bro is hammering out bold faced lies when he's frieking 2! 'There's sprinkles on your face.' 'Nope!' 'But what about this sprinkle jar, it's empty.' 'That's not empty.' Facts are facts mom! Now stop treating sprinkgate like it's an episode of CSI and help my pick out my clothes!
PS: If this kid is ballsy enough to spin a web when he's this young, we may have the next Costanza on our hands.