In all honesty I'm not sure what the context is here, I'm guessing this is a school in the Baltimore or San Francisco areas, but the bottom line is this 1st grader had the last shot at getting his school the day after the Super Bowl off and flat out drained it. Talk about a top life moment. Like if anyone needed to pull a Costanza and get out on a high note here it's my man Blake Harper. Everything is always a little more magnified in your mind when you're that age but I'm here to tell you that there is somewhere between a 0 and -15% chance he ever has the feeling he has in this video again. I remember once in 7th grade I was on the B team at my middle school, Holy Name, and drained a shot at the buzzer against CCA to get the game to overtime which we eventually won. Now I didn't end up probably dying in an ensuing avalanche of people but I did get a mention in the morning announcements the next day and it is still a top 3 moment in my life. So while I feel great for Blake, I also feel terrible for him. He peaked too young.
PS: If you don't think I'm going to start using this at Strange Brew international headquarters you are out of your mind. Make a basket Brewer and we're not blogging on Monday!
Just when you thought you couldn't like Donald Driver more, there's this. Not much else to say here. There aren't too many classy, selfless athletes out there and Donald is one of them. He is going to be sorely missed.
PS: As much as I want it to, I don't think anyone should be marking their calendars for a Driver number retirement day anytime soon. Packers have only retired FIVE numbers in their history and after Dave Robinson goes into the Hall they will have had 22 hall of famers. Again, I want that for Donald but at the same time I love that this franchise doesn't retire everyone's number like other teams do. It's an exclusive club. You'd imagine Favre will be next but how awesome would it be if this brain trust (Thompson, McCarthy, Murphy) did decide to retire #80 and did it BEFORE Favre just to show what being classy and humble gets you.
Double PS: 'Not much else to say here' is just something we say at Strange Brew.
Kaepernick:2 Jon: 0. I mean the Brewers hat was one thing, maybe he just randomly ended up with it or he wants to jump on the bandwagon early so when the Brewers win the World Series in November he'll say he was a fan. But a Bucks hat? I think I have to like him now. There are so few Bucks fans out there that when you find one you have to be friends regardless of any other allegiances. We're like sports minorities. Hell if you make it out to the Bradley Center for a Bucks game you'll find the most amicable group of people on earth. It's like an AA meeting. Everyone politely nods to each other, hand shakes and hugs getting doled out, and sometimes at halftime we all sit in a circle and vent our feelings about the team. None of us want to be there but we're all bound by a love for a pathetic franchise. You win Kaepernick. You're alright in my book as long as you aren't running through the Packer defense like star power Mario ever again.
PS: This feels like that scene in Step Brothers where they find out they like each other even though they hated each other for the first half of the movie. First he's a Brewer fan, now a Bucks fan. Hey Colin! You wanne go do karate in the garage?!
Alright so in case you missed the breaking news yesterday*, Ryan Braun has been connected to this Bio-Genesis A-Rod story as a potential link to PED use. Now I spent most of my night in my study (race car bed, iPad) getting to the bottom of this because I really haven't been paying much attention to the A-Rod connection that came out earlier in the week. As a side note this Braun story flat out RUINED a pre-game show I had to do last night for a college basketball game in Milwaukee. Literally I was 90 seconds from having to go on the air and I thought to myself 'gee Jon, you haven't been on Facebook for 11 whole minutes, what if something cool/useless happened and you missed it?!' So I log on and one of my buddies, Andrew, had a link to the Yahoo article associating Braun with the same company as A-Rod. Stung me hard. So as I'm trying to break down the match up on the court, I'm also simultaneously trying to read if Braun is indeed in trouble. If you go back to the audio archive of the broadcast I'm fairly certain I say something to the effect of 'The Warriors have a tough match up tonight as they welcome in Ryan Braun's herpes gate version 2.0.' Not my finest moment as a broadcaster to be sure.
In any case this company is a 'wellness' company called Bio-Genesis that specializes in anti-aging/trying to keep aging baseball player's relevant through illegal injections. This is the company A-Rod supposedly used to buy PED's from last year. Melky Cabrera is also on one of their 'lists' and he was suspended 50 games for steroid use last year. And now Ryan Braun is on their ledger as well. Now in all the mentions of Braun he isn't linked to buying a drug of any kind, it just says 'RB 20K-30K.' Basically a list of payments owed but not specifying for what. So Braun came out with a statement last night that essentially said that his attorney's consulted the owner of Bio-Genesis, Anthony Bosch, last year during his appeal process to gather information about how urnine samples can be tainted, etc. Essentially bringing him in as a consultant (just like they did at Initrode last year). Braun acknowledged there was a disagreement over payments owed and that is why his name is on their records. To which I say: case closed! Innocent again! Brewer's, Brewer's they're turning up the heat! 54 days till opening day!
*I start entirely too many blogs like this. Wake up Jon, you operate a blog in a 25 hour a day world, stop running Strange Brew like it was a newspaper from 1965.
PS: Seriously though I'm on Braun's side 150% because I'm a ride or die fan but he is either the best liar in the world or has the worst luck in the world. This is like when cops come to an underage drinking party and you claim you were the designated driver and shouldn't be fined. Guilty by association will be the verdict from the public I would think.
So from what I can gather from this article, Russia's birthrate has been on the decline for like the last 20 years and it's becoming a Children of Men situation over there. Again, sort of sounds far fetched for a country where you can drink vodka from a water fountain to have a problem with pregnancies but I'm not here to argue with the internet. Bottom line is this is a power move and a half by Putin. Oh our population is declining? We need to crank out more Bond villains? Boom, Boyz II Men concert. Done and done. I mean Boyz II Men was a flat out aphrodisiac in the 90's. Kind of shocking we didn't progenate a second baby boomer generation from 1994-1999. And there is just no way this doesn't work. Boyz II Men was so hot that even I almost slow danced with a girl at a middle school dance when End of the Road hit. So I hope Obama is putting a plan in place now to combat a Russian army in 18 years that will rival the biggest and baddest the world has ever seen.
PS: I don't know who follows the goings on with Putin on the internet but the guy is a flat out beast. If he's not hunting and killing elk with his bare hands he's sniping bear in the Russian woods, if he's not sniping bear he's honing his karate skills for the Cobra Kai. The Russian gyy who does things indeed. Putin so hot right now. Putin.
And by magic I mean awkward, awkard magic. Kind of feel like Rodgers got the last burn there, but I've seen more comfortable exchanges from two kids Frankenstein-dancing at a middle school dance. On the whole I'd say 10% funny, 90% awkward. Sort of like Strange Brew.
PS: Anyone catch Favre on NFL Network? Pretty meh. But if you ask my NFL Network missed the point entirely. I mean you've got Favre, Irvin and Deion Sanders on the same set. Just put down a bottle of Gentlemen Jack, let them tell stories of the 90's and get out of the way. Oh and find a better sensor than CBS had.
Alright so in the spirit of the Washington Post and the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times analyzing and giving their 'top Super Bowl ads' list I figured Strange Brew should probably post something. Also in the interest of full disclosure I thought the ads overall were sub par so I only picked 5 of my favorites. Somewhere Don Draper shook his head in shame at some of the efforts out there. Then he went to drink some scotch. Then he hooked up with a secretary and ate a steak. Draper so hot right now. Draper.
#5: Best Buy
Might be biased here because Parks and Rec is one of my favorite shows on TV so anything with Leslie Knope is a home run. Knope's the new Liz Lemon.
#4: Jeep Whole Again
A lot of the best ads involved me crying and this was one of them. Now to be fair crying at 8pm on a Sunday isn't all that unusual for me anyway but this one tugged at the heartstrings. Also made me proud to be a Jeep owner. Actually it might be the first time I've felt pride in my life.
#3: Budweiser Clydesdale's
Again, sort of a crybaby one but when you put Landslide behind anything I'm bound to cry. Hell play that song underneath a video of a bunch of college kids playing beer pong and I'll probably start bawling. Bottom line is cute baby Clydesdale+Landslide= waterwork city: population Jon.
#2: Doritos Goat for Sale:
Doritos always comes in hot in the Super Bowl. The one with the Dad's dressed in tutu's wasn't bad either. But point blank if you don't laugh when this goat screams you're a scary human being. I've watched this 26 times this morning and I laugh every time. And I'm not even sure where you come up with a concept like this but Doritos does it every year. Pretty sure they just lock a bunch of college kids in a room with chips, beer, and a little smokey smoke and tell them to brainstorm for 10 months. Whatever works for you.
#1: God made a farmer
I couldn't care less about the debate between Ram trucks and Ford trucks and Chevy trucks but this commercial was a flat out scene stealer. It also made me feel terrible about the contributions I've made to the world so far but thankfully there are those out there who make the world turn. And I'm here to blog about them.
PS: I know the Go Daddy commerical we posted on Friday is catching MAJOR flack this morning but I wonder how people are falling into their trap. Like while blogs and articles and comment blogs are being written and blown up with people irate there are 5 marketing execs at Go Daddy headquarters toasting champagne. They don't care if it was funny or not, crude or not, or informative or not. Everyone on the planet is talking about Go Daddy today. No publicity is bad publicity kids.
Double PS: If you call me a wuss for crying at ads then you're also calling Stone Cold a wuss. Your call.
If the video doesn't work click the audio link at the bottom for Harbaugh's take. I don't know how to work the internet.
Alright so this is Jim Harbaugh's post game presser after the Super Bowl last night. Whaaaaaa there was a hold. Whaaaaaaaa there was pass interference. Whaaaaaaa the officials were out to get us. Whaaaaaaaa I can't believe the guy who directed Star Trek is directing Star Wars. Alright that last one might have been me but you get the point. Like of all the insufferable Ray Lewis ball washing and Harbaugh V Harbaugh vignettes by far the toughest thing to stomach in the game itself was Jim's sideline antics. Like bro, relax with the crybaby routine. Even Jay Cutler is embarrased for you. And yeah I guess you could probably make a solid case that there was a hold, or interference, or something, but the bottom line is contact like that is going to be a non-call 100 times out of 100 when the Super Bowl is on the line. You can argue that if it's 'called in the regular season it should be called in the Super Bowl' but, again, the stage and the ramifications have influenced judgement calls in every sport since the history of ever. The strike zone widens in baseball on a 3-0 count. You don't call an offensive foul on Michael Jordan in Game 6 with the Finals on the line in the NBA. And you don't call minimal contact on the final play of the Super Bowl. Unless he straight up speared him M Bison Street Fighter style there wasn't going to be a call there. Get over it.
Not to mention it's about time Niners fans had to suffer a Super Bowl loss. 5-0 in Super Bowls going into last night. Niners fans: we got screwed, I can't believe we lost our first Super Bowl in 6 tries! Bills fans: STFU.
PS: If the Understaker would have come out once the lights got cut I would have sh*t.
Double PS: Love this video making the rounds too. Disney folks had to LOVE this. Hey Joe Flacco! You just won the Super Bowl! What are you gonna do next?! F##$(ING AWESOME!
Welp folks I've got nothing to say here. I don't know what to make of this. On the one hand, as a fellow dweeb I feel nothing but pure, unadulterated joy for this kid. Not to be mean, and this is very much the pot calling the kettle black, but when you look like that kid as an adult, what are the odds you spend time making out with the hottest chick on the planet? 32819230183904 to 1? Kind of makes me want to chant 'Nerds! Nerds! Nerds!' like I was at the Greek Games with Queen playing in the background. And if he got paid on top of this it's the greatest swindle of all time. He should legit give his agent 80% of his payday minimum.
But on the other hand I sort of feel for Bar Refaeli here. First she goes from #1 to #9 on the Maxim top 100, then Leo breaks up with her and now she's making out with chubby Screech. I dunno. You win this time internet.
PS: I saw somebody post this video link in a youtube comment section. This kid is 'that dude'! He's in literally everything! Like the Where's Waldo of nerdy extras.
First of all, what the hell happened to TLC? I remember when I was a kid there was actual informative programming on there right? Well if there were ever a question as to whether or not Ted Dibiase was right when he said 'everbody's got a price' their programming change should convince you otherwise. Forget about educational programming meant to stimulate the mind and challenge the brain! That doesn't put asses in seats! Give me Honey Boo Boo and a chick pound 3,200 cat hair balls and ad revenue!
Now I think it's a given at this point that everything on reality TV is scripted to look 'real.' Hell I'm 30% convinced that the whole Manti Te'o thing was an elaborate advertisement for the MTV show Catfish which I watch a marathon on the day after the Te'o story broke. So with that in mind I'm saying there is absolutely no way this broad pops cat hair balls in her mouth like they're Tic Tacs. So my question is, and sticking with the Ted Dibiase theme, how much would someone have to pay you to appear on this show and claim you eat cat hair balls everyday? $10,000? $50,000? Personally I'm doing this for no less than $100,000. Because it's not so much the actual act of filming this and popping a few hair balls in your mouth. That's easy. It's the scarlet letter that comes with it. Like you'll forever be the guy/girl that eats cat hair balls. And even if you convince someone that you were paid to do it and you don't really lick your cat, the bottom line is there's video evidence of you licking your cat like Simba at the beginning of Lion King. Again though, that's easier to swallow if there's a small fortune to kick back on. I guess it's true what they say, you can't make an omelette without cracking a few eggs. Or in this case you can't start a Swiss bank account without eating 3,200 hairballs. What?
PS: Just had someone present a different hypothetical; instead of money what if you could guarantee something would occur if you appeared on this show eating hairballs. I.E. you could marry Kate Upton, eat pizza and never put on weight, etc. Intriguing proposition and I think I like that question more. Real talk: if I could guarantee a Brewers World Series championship I would eat 3,200 hairballs before noon.
Double PS: The look on this cat's face says it all.
Welp folks, best case scenario right here. And I don't know why it should be a surprise, a class guy stays classy to the end. I guess I'm still a little jaded given what happened with the Favre debacle but Driver proves once again why he is everything that it turned out Brent wasn't. Driver easily has some tokens left to play somewhere else but he cared more about his legacy and about Packer fans. Without question a top 3 all time favorite Packer for me. And in case you forgot given his low productivity this season he retires high scorer in franchise history in
- Receptions all time
- Seasons with 50+ Receptions
- Consecutive games with a reception
- Receiving Yards
- Seasons with 1,000 plus yards
And that's in a franchise that includes guys like Don Hutson and Sterling Sharpe. No biggie. Not to mention he had a million dollar smile at all times, overcame terrible odds to become an all time great and got me to watch an entire season of Dancing With the Stars. It sounds like his press conference is going to be on February 6th (Wed) and 11am and tickets will actually be sold for it starting tomorrow (Feb 1st) at 9am. We'll miss you Donald! An all time great player. An all time great person.
KY– Louisville Metro Police have arrested three men they said were trespassing on government property. According to a police report, 44-year-old James Tully, 43-year-old Gregory Parker and 61-year-old Earl Allen were all found inside the lobby of the United States Post Office on Highland Avenue drinking beer. This is not the first time the three men were asked to leave the building. The report states after several complaints from USPS staff and customers, the men have been told “numerous times that they are trespassing” and are not allowed in the building. Responding officers said one of the men had an open beer and there was a “bag” of beers being shared between the three. Officers said all three men smelled of alcohol. All three men are charged with criminal trespassing, drinking alcoholic beverage in a public place and alcohol intoxication in a public place.
There's an old proverb that I learned at middle school dances and have applied to almost every aspect of my life since, beggars can't be choosers. And I think the Post Office in Kentucky, and really the Post Office overall can take a note. I mean who do you think you're kidding USPS? You're on the clock. You know it. I know it. We all know it. Profits are down, customers are down, they're talking about canceling weekend delivery altogether, let's face it, you're standard def in a high def world. People pay their bills online, order packages online, send e-cards online and adolescent boys aren't as desperate for the Victoria's Secret catalog as they once were. Yeah it's kind of sad but that's the way of the world. So when 3 potentially homeless men decide that they want to spend some time in your establishment passing around a bag of beer, maybe just let them get their swerve on for a bit before calling Johnny Law . Hell why not take their idea and run with it! I can count the amount of times I've been to the post office in the last 10 years on one hand and I pass one on the way to work everyday. I honestly can't even picture a reason why I'd ever be in one again. UNLESS I can mail a letter and grab an eye opener! All of a sudden I might be spending a lot of time at my local post office. I'll be mailing $10 birthday checks and sending post cards with a Tall Boy in my hand like it's 1993. Wake up USPS! The answer is right in front of you! And it's in the form of 3 drifters with a penchant for malt liquor!
PS: You know how they say never judge a book by it's cover? That's more of a suggestion I think.