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The Lone Ranger makes limburger cheese smell good

by Jack Taylor

"What a dump."

Bette Davis uttered those words in the 1949 movie "Beyond the Forest."  Some critics, and apparently many filmgoers, are likening that statement to Disney's "The Lone Ranger."

That's why I haven't seen it.  

I like Johnny Depp immensely.  Pirates I and IV are great, well, I is and IV is better than II and III combined.  Disney likes Depp too.  He's made them a ton of money and virtually everything he's in produces.  Except this.

To date the over $200 million dollar movie has made $82 million dollars domestically and about $67 million dollars overseas.  If you put a cowboy hat on Justin Bieber and throw in some American Indians Europeans flock to the movies.  They love the American West that much.

Rotten Tomatoes called the "Lone Ranger" a "bland script, bloated length and overkill."  Peter Howell of the Toronto Star wrote "who, exactly, is this bipolar oater made for?"

I shudder to think that Johnny Depp as Tonto would do two things to me in the theater.  Put me to sleep or make my butt so sore I won't sit for an hour after the show.

Depp's good, but he too is only human.