10 New Year’s Resolution Suggestions For Celebrities
As Baby New Year is born again in 2011, he comes into a world of people that are all promising to be better via New Year’s resolutions. Whether it be to lose weight, be nicer, or cut back on Diet Coke (no, really this time!), everyone has a way they want to improve. Including the stars. But since they aren’t sharing their goals, we’ve made up some for them to ensure optimal life improvement. Here, resolutions we think the stars should make.
Taylor Swift: Make sure to see Jake Gyllenhaal shirtless everyday. Because when life gives you a gift like that, it is a shame not to take advantage of it.
The Situation: Get an endorsement deal with Shake Weight for Men and start calling your arms “The Issue” and “The Dealio.”
Taylor Momsen: Buy a diary and express your angsty personal feelings there, instead of in very public interviews.
Ryan Reynolds: Share your new sexy single-ness with all the needy ladies you have been depriving. Me first!
Kim Kardashian and Family: Explore the other 25 letters of the alphabet—they’re pretty awesome. And this coming from a girl named Kelli.
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt: Keep doing absolutely nothing of interest to the tabloids—we like that. Also research if there is such a thing as a back unscoop.
Miley Cyrus: Now that is it legal for websites to post the dreaded and pervy upskirt shot of you, start being pro-active and stock up on granny panties pronto. Oh, and destroy all your friends’ camera phones.
Ryan Gosling: Get some inspiration from your swoon-worthy meme and become a real-life, modern day Romeo. And could you please cheer up sad Keanu while you’re at it?
Hugh Jackman: Get more puppies! We are thinking a “Hugh and Pooches” calendar for 2011.
Mel Gibson: Stay away from booze, cars, women, babies, phones, and the media. Also known as: take a year-long sabbatical in Antarctica.