Then look no further ladies! Video Mate is here to solve all of your dating woes! Seriously this is the greatest video of all the videos on the intarwebs. This might even trump "goat that screams like a man." (watches goat video again).....alright nevermind the goat still wins but by a slim margin. Like if I was making a line for that matchup it would be a push.

Anyway this is one of those video's to just be enjoyed without commentary, but hey, I've ruined classier things with my commentary. First of all Guy #1 without a doubt read his cue card wrong, if he would have started with his name and then produced that line of eloquence where he says women are wiser then him he would have been golden. Like no woman would have even made it to the rest of these gems, they would have called Stephen in a heart beat. Game, set, match.

Also, I'd like to have a word with Maurice. He totally stole my pick up line and just replaced "Country DJ by day" with "Executive by day." I mean at least cite me if you're going to use my material. This must have been what it felt like to be a musician when Napster started? Just plain thieving. I have to give it to him though, all indications are that he is in fact a wild man, I mean is there a single button on that shirt that is attached? I can't compete with that; advantage: Maurice.

Right around minute 1:50, is that Tom Cruise? I know he had a break inbetween "Risky Business" and "Top Gun" and I doubt it would ever come to this for him, but I am 140% sure that's him looking for a goddess.

And finally I'M going to contact Fred the Viking. He just looks like a fun dude to hang out with.

And yes I realize that despite my jabs all of these men have had more success with women than me. Bonus word: 'success.'