Man it's been a tough year in the video game world. First Donkey Kong's record goes down, then Frogger, and now Asteroids? It's like the summer of '98 in baseball when home run records were dropping like flies! Well I stood by ignorantly then and assumed it was all legit, but not this time. I want testing! Amphetamines, steroids, abnormally high levels of Jolt or Mountain Dew! Also if he had one of those bladder things on where you can just 'relieve' yourself whenever into a plastic bag then I'm calling shenanigans on that was well. Any video gamer knows that 98% of the battle of beating these records is figuring out how to avoid bathroom breaks. Because at the end of the day these games are easy as pie (mmmmmm pie) and the true task is just dedicating yourself for that period of time.
With all that said I have to thank John McAllister for making my 10 hour sessions of Madden seem like child's play. Next time somebody calls me out for playing my Packers franchise for too long is getting this video of John McAllister playing Asteroids for 55 hours to the face! Like I feel like I need to befriend this guy as a wingman. We go to the bar and he's going on and on about demolishing virtual asteroids and all of a sudden my obsession with the Brewers doesn't seem so bad! I joke about this but if I'm John McAllister I'm 110% putting this on my resume under the "Skills and Achievements" section. Bold, italics, underlined. Boom. Job.
Without a doubt though my favorite part of this video is listening to the female news anchor try not to laugh at this as she's reading it. Because you could have all the classic video game records in the world, but women do NOT find scoring 14231432543 points on Asteroids a turn on. Trust me. I tried it with Space Invaders. Bonus word: asteroids.
PS: What is the surge protector/power situation at this guy's house? Cause if the power goes out in hour 52 he is going to actually go on a rampage.
PPS: I saw this show on the Discovery Channel about asteroids that are on a path for Earth in the next 40 years. Can we get John McAllister on this? That would seem to be the practical application here right? Like if the dinosaurs had John McAllister's pinpoint accuracy and deft maneuvering I'd be looking at a velociraptor outside the studio right now. Or one would be hosting the show with me?