Damn. How could I have possibly missed that headline for yesterday? Like that has literally been bringing my down for the last 20 hours. I guess I could have just pulled down the blog and put a new one up with that headline. But I'm a professional. And I left a 2 strike hanging slider that got belted out of the ball park. Just have to live with it I suppose. Anyhow there were a lot of random sports stories yesterday so here is a sampler platter taking you to the weekend. (mmmmm....sampler platter).

- Good thing Roethlewhateverhisnameis is on suspension, otherwise I would have been worried that Pittsburgh could stage a 4th quarter comeback on Milwaukee yesterday just like they did to Green Bay in December! Nothing worse than when a missed extra point comes back to haunt you. Honestly 20-0? Are the Brewers serious with that? Manny Parra was 1 for 1 with an RBI yesterday for crying out loud. We did leave 12 men on base though. Weak effort fellas, weak effort. In all seriousness this has to be the curse of the Italian sausage haunting Pittsburgh. Like have we lost a game to that squad since Randall Simon KO-ed our racing sausage? At this point Pittsburgh is like prescription medication for the Brewers. Off to a slow start? Fans feeling queasy? Just take on the Pirates once every 24 hours for 3 days and you should feel fine! It's like the Pirates are the spinach to the Brewers Popeye. How many analogies can I come up with?

- In a somewhat related story am I the only one who thought Big Ben got off easy with a 6 (read: 4) game suspension after his sexual assault accusations? If you have 10 hours to kill you should read the entire police report at The Smoking Gun website. Just nasty stuff. And I realize that not everyone gets paid to sit on the internet all day so I'll paraphrase the entire thing for you:

'Ben Roethlisberger is an asshat.'

That should clear things up. Now I know at some point in my life God is going to curse me with having a girl. That's just the way it happens. And I'm going to lay awake at night starting on her 15th birthday worried about guys like this while sharpening knives and cleaning guns. Fathering a daughter 101 right there.

- The Packers got their man yesterday in Bryan Bulaga and didn't have to trade up to do it. Ho-Hum, just another future pro bowler for Ted's resume. Seriously if you're not on the Ted Thompson bandwagon yet I don't know what to tell you. Dude's legit. I can't wait to see what he does in rounds 2-7. But I can tell you whatever he does I'll be watching it on mute. Did anyone else want to stab themselves in the ears listening to ESPN commentary last night? All sorts of brutal. Here's a clip:

Also I'd like to start a formal petition (or a facebook page) to get the NFL draft back to just Saturday and Sunday. When the first four rounds were on all day Saturday that was pound for pound one of the best sports days of the year. Now I can't wait for it to end so I can get to bed. And what if Grey's Anatomy and The Office weren't repeats last night? Does the NFL realize I can only watch or record two things at once?!

- I'm off the Brewers/Cubs game tonight and as most Brewers fans know, spending 3-4 hours in the same location as Cubs fans can be difficult. But to quote one of the best coolers of all time, Patrick Swayze, all you have to do is follow 3 simple rules.

1. Never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected

2. Take it outside. Never start anything inside the park unless absolutely necessary.

3. Be Nice. If somebody gets in your face be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't/can't walk, walk him. Be nice. If you can't walk him, find someone to help you, and you'll both be nice. Just remember, if someone talks trash about the Brewers, it's not personal, it's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response. So just remember, I want you to be nice, until it's time to not be nice:

Bonus word: nice.