So this is what it's like to be a Pirates fan huh? Just getting totally owned on your home field by a division rival. Straight embarrassing stuff (man even my text sounds sad). But you know what? As a wise man once said, there's no crying in baseball! And he's also a man who safely landed Apollo 13, is a world ping pong champion, made AOL popular, solved the Da Vinci riddle, and rescued Buzz Lightyear from the dreaded claw. If you can't trust him who can you trust? So instead of being negative about a tough brutal vomit inducing series, let's look at some of the positives that came from the weekend massacre.

1. Jeff Suppan will not make another start in a Brewers uniform. Honestly that in itself is worth the pounding we took in three games. Hell I'd be fine with getting outscored 55-4 if that was the end result. I was at the game on Friday and in all my years of attending sporting events, I've never once heard hate spewed on a hometown player as much as I did when Granpa Macha pulled Soup. It was like when you date someone for years and all of their annoying habits like leaving crumbs in bed, or clipping their toenails on the carpet eat at you everyday, and then one day during a totally unrelated argument EVERYTHING comes out in a fit of rage. Except Jeff Suppan's crumbs and toenails are an astronomical ERA and an equally astronomical pay stub. There were people booing him, swearing at him, and speaking in tongues at him as he trotted off the field. Some were even doing all three (read: me)!  Then finally on Sunday came the announcement that Narveson would be taking his rotation spot come Wednesday. And barring two major injuries, we have thankfully seen our last 'probable starter' line with 'Jeff Suppan' next to it. So what will we do with our 12.5 million dollar man? I've got the perfect job for him. Slump buster. Whenever the Brewers struggle on offense like they did this weekend, just come in on Monday and have Soup pitch our offense a simulated game. Blamo. Fixed. Perfect job for Soup.

2. Doug Davis finally gets his act together. Now this one comes with a caveat in that although he pitched well, the Brewers wasted the effort by not mustering any kind of offense against Ted Lilly. Wasting a quality start by Doug Davis this season is like throwing away a winning lottery ticket. But it finally looked like he had the pitch command and craftiness that allowed him to have the second most quality starts in the National League last season. I'll take 6+ innings of two run ball from double D any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

3. The Cubs will do what they do every year: nothing. Easily the most insufferable part of getting swept at home is who did the sweeping. But a sociology professor in college taught me long ago the Social Cycle Theory.  It argues that 'events and stages of society and history are repeating themselves in cycles.' Ergo, the Cubs suck every year, history will repeat itself and they will suck this year too. It's science. And I have a visual aide to prove my point:

Now I made the mistake on Sunday of taking to the JSONLINE in-game blog and trying to stay positive with these very points. Only to be greeted by guys like BrewCrew69 and BrettFavre4Ever telling me that the season is over and Macha and Melvin should be fired immediately. Everyone needs to pump their brakes. It's April. Just get out of the first month around .500 and go from there. Plus our medicine is already coming with the Pirates in town through Wednesday. That should wake our bats up from the coma they were in over the weekend. Actually come to think of it....our bats were scared! Scared of the curveball! Somebody make sure JOBU has enough rum in the Brewers clubhouse! Bonus word: medicine.