I'd argue I have a degree in farting around and this blog is about to prove it. Like what Scorsese is to film making I am to farting around. Now I know a lot of people have gotten emails from people that go to the effect of "I'm stranded abroad and you're so handsome and funny I figured you'd be the best person to contact in this situation." I may have (read: did) taken some editorial liberties with the handsome and funny part, but you get the drift. But yesterday even I got thrown a curveball. Have you ever had one of these situations pop up on facebook chat? I randomly got a message from a girl I haven't talked to in 5 years and it turned out it was one of these deals. So I did what any good radio station employee/person with way too much free time would do; egged on the person on the other end, copied and pasted the conversation and turned it into a blog. Bingo bango my work is done for the day. Now this all actually happened, I'm not nearly smart enough to concoct this scheme on my own (my replies are in italics):
how are you?
good! how are you?
not too good at the moment
my family and i are stranded in glasgow scotland at the moment
can i send you some money to help?
yes we are in need of money to get back
how much should i send?
i will def refund it back to you once we are back
oh i don't doubt it
you're always good for it
do you know any western union store close to you?
what is this 1925?
you can easily wire the money via western union using my name and present location
it's 2010, I have no idea how to 'wire' money, maybe i'll send you a telegram while I'm at it.
can't i just send you a check or something?
please try and understand me, we stern union is the easiest and fastest way to get the money
all you you need is my info and you will find any western union store close to you
look i'll even send you 5 grand if you want, I just don't have the time to track down a western union, maybe if they had an iphone app where I could just have directions sent on my phone
i just spoke to the hotel managemnt and i was told they only accept cash not onlije payment
please try and help me out
do you pinky swear you'll send me my money back when you get back to the states?
pinky swear is a binding contract
say 'i pinky swear'
i swear i will pay back
i pinky swear
do you need my info now?
Address: 396-402, Sauchiehall St, Glasgow, Lanarkshire, G2 3JD
that the info you need at western union
are you heading to send it now?
what kind of friend would i be if i waited?
how long will it take you to have it done
please give me your email address so i can email you
help is on the way!
email me back with the details once your done
listen i've been thinking
3 grand is a lot of money
so how much can you spare at the moment
i've got a couple of coupons for extra value meals at mcdonalds?
does that help?
please i'm freaked out right now this place is very dangerous so i would want you to wire the money as fast as you can
any amount you are able to wire will be appreciated
please talk to me
And there you have it folks. A full hour of my life dedicated to saving this person's life. Heaven is going to be so sweet.
PS: If I've said in once I've said it a thousand times, if you're on your way to school and don't have a major in mind, be a communication major even if you don't intend to finish it. I cannot stress enough that this is my job. Like I can totally justify the time I spent on this within the parameters of my 'responsibilites.' Communication FTW.