Do you ever get the feeling that something is off in your life? Like you've got a decent dominant job (almost forgot Eddie reads these things), nice apartment, every major gaming system, things are going well. No complaints. But something still feels off? Well friends after 25 years on this earth I finally got to the crux of the problem ('crux' is my word of the day....and yes the only reason I know it is because I read Harry Potter). Here's the story of how I uncovered ony of my life's great mysteries.
So I'm at home a couple of weeks ago and my mom busts out some old family photo albums. Ho-Hum. Par for the course when the family gets together, a trip down memory lane. So I put down my Cocoa Krispies and decided to watch on for a while (and when I can tear myself away from chocolate cereal you know it's serious business). We're steadily going through the years in chronological order, we see my sister, Cortney, when she was the only child for four years (I have never seen a smile like the one she had while she was running the house solo) then we get to me being born and my early childhood years. Hey look there's an impossibly cute young Jonathan on the swing set! There's a dashingly handsome 3 year old Jonathan opening his Ghostbuster fire house on Christmas! There's Jonathan wearing a Dallas Cowboy's jacket! There's Jonathan.....wait what? In the words of George Costanza, let's back it up....beep....beep....beep. Why the hell am I adorned in Cowboys silver and blue?! I mean, yeah, I'm making those Cowboys colors look as good as they possibly can, but seriously?
So my mom tells me that it was a hand me down jacket from my cousins and that is how I ended up with it. Now my cousin's are Bears fans, which is bad enough anyway, but why would they have a Cowboy's jacket then? Have their lives been adversely affected all these years too? I feel like I'm at the beginning of an Indiana Jones movie with more questions than answers. But instead of searching for The Ark of the Covenant I want to find this jacket and burn it. Maybe then I'll start feeling like myself again. I mean look at what just wearing Cowboy's colors makes you do! I'm crying and trying to rip my eyeballs out!
Sigh....so there's my story, it is tragic but I feel better now that it is all out in the open. Wearing Cowboy's paraphernalia is like admiting to a drinking problem, or that I watched every season of Power Rangers. Whoa...did I just type that out loud? Bonus word: tragic. Comment coming from my mom in 5....4....3.....
PS: The Ghostbusters Fire House is EASILY the greatest Christmas present I have ever received. And I did get it from my parents, so that sort of makes up for this photo.