Ahhhhhh. The ol' "I'm a Buddhist and need to learn to control my impulses" line. As old as time itself. Honestly he sucked me in with that psycho babble. I don't blame him for anything now. Game, set, match Tiger. The next time I get called out for playing Call of Duty for 9 consecutive hours without blinking: Hey man, lay off, I'm a Buddhist and I'm trying to control my impulses.

Honestly does anyone really care about this? This press conference seemed more than unnecessary. You're Tiger freaking Woods. Just come back to the course, get booed, issue beat downs on Sunday while wearing a red polo, get cheered. It's simple athlete math. Even I know that. And don't tell me for a second that this guy is not going to golf at the Masters. He played coy in this statement with open ended statements about not knowing when he'd be back blah blah blah. This guy is 140% golfing at Augusta. Although how big of a dream scenario would it be for our own Whistling Straits if he returned at the PGA Championship. Also if I were on the tour (and based on my average scores in Tiger Woods Golf I should be) I would be horrified of this comeback. Do you know how much better he is going to be now that he doesn't have mistresses running around the golf course? That plus he's angry. My guess is he has Nicklaus's record broken by the end of 2010. Bonus word: waste. As in that was a gigantic waste of 15 minutes.

As a sidenote I am thoroughly disappointed that Woods didn't take this opportunity to utilize one of the great Costanzaisms. Here's how the press conference SHOULD have opened: "Was I wrong? Should I not have done that? I gotta tell ya, I have to plead ignorance here because if someone had told me that that type of thing was frowned upon...."

PS: How is sex rehab a place? That has jobs that pay real money? I've got your solution to addiction: fantasy baseball. Seriously, join a league and you won't think of think of beer, cigarettes, or whatever you're addicted too. Course I guess that sort of means you'd be addicted to fantasy baseball. Catch-22.

Double PS: Sign of the time: Literally 14 seconds after this press conference was done I was on youtube trying to find videos to post and was frustrated when nothing was up yet.