And by 'speechless' I mean 'about to make tons of useless comments' but whatever, if I learned one thing in journalism class at North High it's that you need an attention grabbing headline to lure people into your medicore writing. And if I learned two things it's that Joseph Pulitzer was kind of a jerk. See? Who says I drank all my knowledge away in college.   

Anyhow I'm not sure what shocks me more about this video, the fact that this invention exists, or the fact that this was posted on youtube TWO YEARS ago and I had no idea about it. Typically I have a sixth sense for when beer inventions come to fruition. That plus my entire job is basically tooling around the internet tireless scouring the information superhighway for entertaining and informative show prep. And the only reason I know about it now is that my buddy, Tony, sent it to me in one of those forward emails. Now typically I'll just delete those and move on with my life because everytime I open one I end up wanting the last minute of my life back. But for whatever reason, as I was about to click delete, something in my brain said 'if you leave work early one more time you'll probably get fired, so just open this email up and act like you're doing something.' Then I watched a video that changed my life. Well played brain, well played.

Needless to say this is up there with the best inventions of all time. DVD movies, wireless intarwebs, HDTV, stuffed crusted pizza, my beer bottle opener that plays 'On Wisconsin" when I open a beer, and beer throwing robot. I don't want this robot. I need it. So mom, here's an early Christmas list;

1. Beer Throwing Robot

2. Lifetime supply of Arby's.

3. Packer's season tickets

4. Season 7 of Two and a Half Men

Boom. Done 10 months early. Bonus word: robot.

PS: I can't even bring myself to go to my fridge anymore and get a beer. All I think about as I'm walking 3 feet to my kitchen is how beer bot could be doing all this work for me. I mean, I'll go to the gym if I want to work out.