John Hammond Discovers Plutonium by Accident

Posted by Jon Henseler on

 

Thank God for 3 day weekends huh? On Friday the Bucks made two major moves (signing Drew Gooden and John Salmons) and I wasn't sure how I felt either of them. And I was hit with the conundrum of posting a blog that I wasn't 100% invested in or waiting for Tuesday after I've had some time to clear my head and ponder the pros and cons of each signing*. So this extended break hit at just the right time. I needed to get away from the rigors of scouring youtube all day for videos of cats playing with ipads, or clicking refresh 3423432 times on the Brewers blog to find out what the latest news is on the Crew. I mean video's of guys chugging beer and pictures of food porn aren't going to post themselves right? So after some careful thought here is what I believe John Hammond is doing with both moves:

The Salmons signing was a no brainer. They went 22-8 with him in the lineup. Case closed. That one was easy, like ridiculing Cubs fans easy. The Gooden one was a little bit more difficult but I think I finally understand the reasoning behind it. Sure  Gooden has been on 9 teams in 9 years. But one of those teams was the Cleveland Cavaliers with LeBron James. And I read somewhere on the internet that Gooden and LeBron ended up being BFF's during that time together. Seems a little far fetched but as I said, it was on the internet. Not only that but it was the result of a google search. If we can't trust either of those what can we trust? Exactly. So instead of wooing big names like Wade or LeBron, Hammond went for the ace in the hole in Gooden. LeBron, wanting to play with his besty will inevitably sign with us as the next domino to fall. Consequently, LeBron will then call Wade and lure him back to the place where he made a name for himself in college at Marquette. With both King James and Wade on board, Chris Bosh will immediately sign with Milwaukee for the veteran's minimum just so he can latch on for what will certainly be 5 straight years of championship rings.

Opening night starting 5:

Jennings

Wade

LeBron

Bosh

Bogut

So while some say we signed a career journeyman for far too much money, I say we just signed the Larry O' Brien trophy for half a decade. Ho-Hum. No big deal. Just Hammond being Hammond and reinventing the game. It reminds me of the Seinfeld roommate switch:

John Hammond and George Costanza ladies and gentlemen. Life's just a layup drill for some guys. Bonus word: trophy.

*That is the EXACT line I gave almost every professor in college when I needed an extension on a paper. Listen would you rather have a crappy paper that I rushed, or a crappy paper that I had time to formulate. No brainer. Now back to watching funny animal/wrestling youtube videos.

 

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