Am I on planet earth anymore?

ESPN – LeBron James is planning to announce the team with which he will sign during a one-hour special on ESPN Thursday night, ESPN The Magazine’s Chris Broussard has learned through independent sources. ESPN would only confirm that active discussions for the special are ongoing. But sources tell Broussard that representatives for James contacted the network, proposing that James makes his announcement during a 9 p.m. ET special. Those sources said that James’ representatives requested they be allowed to sell sponsorship for the one-hour special, with the proceeds going to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, and that ESPN agreed to the proposal but had not been told what James has decided.

So if I read between the lines here LeBron is basically going to announce on Thursday at 9pm that he is the biggest ass of all time? Like "LeBron" must be a synonym for "total douche" at this point? I think I read that on his Wiki page at least. I mean I thought Brett Favre was an attention......ummmmmm how do I say this magnanimously........okay it rhymes with "whore." Whew. That was a close one. Got to keep the language clean on the old blog. But seriously Brett has kicking himself for not coming up with this plot. Announce your intentions on national TV AND sell YOUR OWN ads for the timeslot. I know there's the thing about the Boys and Girls Clubs blah blah blah. But that is merely a veil to try and conceil was a conceited guy he is. This way when people call him out he can say, "What, do you hate the Boys and Girls Club too?" Well you're not fooling me LeBron. I may have thought Brett retired twice, or that McGwire and Sosa were legit in '98, or that the cable company would acutally be at my house between 3 and 5, but will I let LeBron make me believe he's a good guy? For sure not.

And don't think ESPN is in the clear here either. "Sources tell Broussard that representatives for James contacted the network, proposing that James make his announcement during a 9 p.m. ET special." Read: "ESPN is tired of airing World Series of Poker 2006 or Spelling Bee repeats every night so they made sure to make this LeBron signing a national event and consequently a ratings bonanza." At least if they would have said it that way I'd have some respect for this marketing ploy.

Oh well I suppose. As the old saying goes; if you're going to be a drama queen may as well make sure you get giant TV ratings, make a ton of bank, and laugh about it in a money vault swimming in coin like Scroog McDuck afterwards. It's a lesson for the kids really. Bonus word: unreal.

PS: I'm 6,000% watching this on Thursday.

Double PS: "Magnanimously" is easily the biggest word I've used EVAR. Like addendum feels inadequate next to magnanimously. I think I may have added some extra vowels but whateves, I can't be expected to get it all right on a (claps hands) 5 syllable word.