An article I read on the Yahoo! frontpage while on my way to my fantasy baseball teams*:

NEWSOK – Schools and drug experts are warning parents to beware of “digital drugs” that Mustang High School students blamed for their apparent intoxication. Three students were sent to the principal’s office when they appeared to be high on drugs or alcohol in March, said Mustang School District Superintendent Bonnie Lightfoot. She said the kids explained that they had tried something called “i-dosers.” Young people plug into i-dosers through putting on headphones and downloading music and tones that create a supposed drug-like euphoria. The technology is designed to combine a tone in each ear to create a binaural beat designed to alter brainwaves. So the worried Lightfoot sent parents a letter warning them to be aware of this new temptation to kids. When young people go to one website to download digital drugs, they’ll find a product line featuring titles such as “alcohol,” “opium,” “marijuana” and “orgasm.” The website shows the digital drugs have been downloaded more than 1 million times. To sell more, the websites encourage users to write about their experiences on the site. One user said animals popped up and paint seemed to fall from the wall.  A site says that the i-doses may not be downloaded by anyone under 18 years of age. “Come on. You know they are,” Forrest-Perkins said. “No one over 18 is trying to get stoned on a song.”

Reason #4324325 why being a parent scares the living bejesus out of me. Like it's not bad enough you've got actual drugs, booze, partying, World of Warcraft addictions, or facebook bullying to worry about, but now when little Jimmy is using his headphones with his computer you've got to worry about him using some imaginary binaural beat to alter his brainwaves? Really? Is this what kids are doing these days? Like I know I'm out of touch with the youth of America. Last night it took me 45 minutes to update my iPod and I'm pretty sure I still don't have any mpz's on there. Hell I still have a MySpace page. I get that I'm no longer on the cutting edge of what's going on out there, but i-dosing? When I was a kid you were legit hardcore when you'd down 30 lines of Pixy Stix without blinking. Be on a crazy sugar high for like 14 minutes. Or popping 3 Atomic Warheads in your mouth at the same time. The lemon flavored kind. I once attempted that feat on a bet to acquire one of the original mechanical pencils. I got to 2 before I blacked out. Not even sure what happened the rest of that year. So safe to say i-dosing is beyond me. Bonus word: what.

*110% of the non-sports information I take in is a direct result of websites I have to visit on my way to sports. If I didn't use Yahoo for my fantasy leagues I would have no idea there was even an oil spill.

PS: The people that are selling these 'digital drugs' have to be laughing all the way to the bank right? There is a better chance of me getting high reading a book than getting high listening to tones. Anyway whoever is making bank on this is genius, say that it's new and digital and market it to kids and bingo bango you're raking in the cash. Marketing to teenagers 101.

Double PS: I want a milkshake.