(Johnny Jolly's actual police mugshot)
Get the title? Cause the soda is Jolly Good? And Johnny Jolly's last name is Jolly. Except getting suspended for the whole year is bad? Ergo Jolly Bad? I know, I know. That headline never knew what hit it!
Okay I spent most of my time coming up with the headline so I needed to gather my thoughts on this whole Johnny Jolly being suspended for the season thing. I'm sort of torn on if this matters or not? Like I know he's been a starter on the defensive line for the last two seasons, and I know he's made some big plays stopping the run and tipping passes, but is this really a major loss? How many questions can I ask in one blog? Anyhow I guess my official stance here is one of indifference. It was pretty rare in the last two years that I said a swear word in FRONT of Johnny Jolly's name so he must have played decently. But at the same time BJ Raji really came into his own last year and Teddy Ballgame was once again playing chess on this situation by extending Ryan Pickett's deal in anticipation of a Jolly suspension. That gives you Pickett, Raji, and Cullen Jenkins as your opening week front three which sounds pretty formidable/totally dominant.
The thing I don't understand is what exactly Johnny Jolly is getting suspended for? I keep on hearing the term 'purple drank' and codeine get thrown around. So I did what any clueless 20-something does when he doesn't understand a pop culture term; I headed to urban dictionary. Apparently purple drank is essentially cough syrup mixed with 7-Up. Sooooooo Johnny Jolly got busted for having a bunch of cough syrup? And is suspended for the whole year? And Ben Roelthesberger has sexually assualted at MINIMUM three women and got 8 games. Ummmmm....what? I guess the main issue was the amount Jolly had and perhaps an intent to distribute. So the guy tries to hold down a part time offseason gig and the NFL comes crashing down on him. What's next? We're going to start suspending players for getting in fights at strip clubs and soliciting sex (hello Eugene Robinson)? I mean where does it stop you know? Bonus word: jolly.
PS: I guess this doesn mean that Justin Harrell is going to get more playing time. So upon further review EVERYBODY PANIC!!!
Double PS: Between i-dosing and purple drank I feel WAY out of touch. I'm not even sure how this is fun. When I was a kid my parents had to give me 231 sugar cubes just to get me to consider a teaspoon of cough syrup.