Look if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times: guys wearing Harry Potter shirts can't be trusted. Everyone knows that. Everyone. And now the guy with a Bic hanging out of his eye knows it as well. Like you can push around the Magic players or the Star Wars fans all you want. All they can hit you with are mystical fireballs and plastic lightsabers. But Harry Potter fans play for keeps. This dude should consider himself lucky he didn't get a stupify spell thrown in his grillmix. He should be HAPPY this was only a pen stabbing. Got off light if you ask me.

The part of this story that shocks me more than anything is the fact that there are women being interviewed about this story. At Comic Con. I had to cross reference this video about 15 times to make sure that it wasn't from The Onion's website. So being a nerd is cool now? When did that happen? I mean back in the day I was playing Magic. I've seen every Star Wars movie about a hundred times. I've read the Harry Potter series four times over. Plus 5. Lord of Rings? Book it. Starcraft, Warcraft, the list goes on. And you know where it got me? In sweaty basements with a bunch of dudes at LAN parties while debating the merits of the Zerg race over Protoss. And now it's cool? This must be what it felt like to be Da Vinci. Dude was drawing pictures of planes and tanks in the 1500's and people thought he was crazy*. Now he's considered a genius. So yeah me and Da Vinci pretty much on the same level here.

*200% chance I stole that line from some Da Vinci biography on the History Channel. At this point I think I've learned more about history from that channel than in all my years in school combined. Like did you know Da Vinci basically wrote the Bible with Dan Brown? Fact.

PS: One of my favorite Triumph segments EVAR: