Panic.

Posted by Jon Henseler on

 

Credit to facebook friend Andrew Spaulding for the picture about to be featured on Ken Macha's new Topp's card. I think he must have used photoshop and made this himself? I can't even find it on google, but there it is as his profile pic. So I made sure I sourced it, because if I created this masterpiece I'd want to be credited as well. You can never accuse me of yellow bloggerism.

So last night another late game tie, another blow up by the bullpen. Ho-hum. Just another day in the life of the Crew these days. Seriously am I in 2002 all over again? Because when I look at 'probable starters' for the Brewers the only name I see and think 'Hrm....we could win this game' is Yovani Gallardo's name. Exactly how I felt earlier in the decade with Ben Sheets, well the Ben Sheets that wasn't on the disabled list every other week with hang nails and acute cases of lethargy.

And the most maddening thing is that this team won 80 games last year and was in the race up until late August. They kept everything pretty much the same and signed better pitching so expectations were high for good reason. Well friends this is starting to look like a big budget picture that is a complete and utter flop. Like when I was 12 I was all jacked up to see Judge Dredd. It was my first rated R movie, it had the cast with Stallone, James Earl Jones, Diane Lane, and Rob Schneider. It had cities and weapons of the future, and the best modern day special effects to boot. Then the movie itself made Total Recall look like Raiders of the Lost Ark in comparison. I was totally disappointed. It took 6 boxes of Junior Mints to make me feel better. So this is pretty much what we're going through with this team except guys like Jeff Suppan and Doug Davis play the roles of Stallone and Schneider, Miller Park is Mega City and the Brewers should be rated R for graphic scenes of of bad baseballing. And there aren't enough Junior Mints in the world to make me feel better about a season on the brink already on June 2nd.

Not to mention some brain dead blogger wrote this back in April while telling everyone it was going to be fine:

'Everyone needs to pump their brakes. It's April. Just get out of the first month around .500 and go from there.'

How this guy even has a medium to type on is shocking to say the least. So here we are in June and not even sniffing the .500 mark. I'm not writing the season off yet, but we're getting close to critical mass. I guess Gallardo goes tonight so we should have a chance right? Bonus word: pathetic.

PS: If you go to ESPN and look at the NL leaders in home runs you'll see this guy's picture:

Am I even on earth anymore? How can Corey Hart be having a career season, Casey McGehee leads the NL in RBI, and Braunie is top 5 in batting average and we are almost in last place?

 

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