So about 4 months ago my body decided that one of my time honored traditions, sleeping until noon on Saturday, would be no more. Totally uncool if you ask me. In fact I would 'dislike' my body's status update of 'AWAKE' at 7am if I could. And the sad part about it is that it just went in the span of seven days. Like one week I was in a coma until 12:15pm, then the next week I was wide awake at like 6:30. I figured it was an aberration at first, but then the next week, 6:45, the week after that 6, blah blah blah. Point is we've got a trend here folks. This must be what it's like when a superstar athlete just loses it in one season. I'm like the Trevor Hoffman of sleep.

In any case I figured one of the only benefits of being up early on a Saturday would be to get back to my roots and check out the Saturday morning cartoon lineup. Here's the problem. There are literally NO cartoons worth watching anymore on Saturday. In fact there are barely even cartoons at all. Vegetales? Are you serious? Am I even on planet earth anymore? If these would have been the options when I was 6 I'd have been sleeping in a long time ago. Fortunately when I was a kid cartoons were friggin dominant. Like I got up earlier on Saturday's so I could pour myself a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch at 5:55am just to catch the beginning of the all star lineup at 6am. Ninja Turles, Mighty Max, Ghostbusters, Spiderman, X-Men, The Tick, heck I was lucky if I made it to the bathroom for 5 hours. So my suggesstion to TV Land is this. You play classic shows from the 70's, 80's, and 90's (and some from like 2004, I think I saw Boy Meets World on that network). Why not on Saturday mornings play all the classic cartoons from the 70's, 80's, and 90's? That way people like me can at least waste the morning when our body forces us out of sleep. Because I'll be damned if I'll be productive on a Saturday morning. But the current state of affairs is forcing my hand. Bonus word: saturday.

PS: I will fight anyone who says that X-Men is not the greatest Saturday morning cartoon of all time. And by 'fight' I mean ridicule from behind a computer screen on the safety of my blog.