If I don't get one of these ClayMaker shirts by day's end I'll just die. Seriously it's my birthday and this would be in my top 5 birthday presents of all time.

1. Huffy 10 speed; AKA: The Strobe

2. ClayMaker Shirt

3. Limited edition Ren and Stimpy Pogs

4. Lite Brite

5. Industrial size Gak

See?! It even beats out Lite Brite. Friekin Lite Brite people. Somewhere a 9 year old Jon weeps that I'd rank anything above that. But that's how dominant this shirt is. Not to mention I'm on the verge of doing something I rarely do; buy a player jersey of Clay Matthews. Sports fans now that buying a player jersey is like buying a mystery shot at the bar. All bets are off. Like that player could stay and have a hall of fame career with your team for his entire career. Or he could post a 16 ERA, steal money, get cut, and help other teams win games on your team's dime (check that Cardinals boxscore last night). So safe to say if you dropped a hundo on a Suppan jersey in 2006 you're not feeling too good about your investment. I have a buddy who even bought a retro Bill Hall jersey about three years ago when everyone was drunk on him after his 35 home run season. Now he's in the process of putting duck tape on the back and writing "Inglett" over "Hall." So the key is to buy the jersey of a guy who will more than likely still be on your team for 5 or more years and will be productive during that span. I have a feeling Matthews is that guy. Then again the last jersey I bought was a Vin Baker Bucks jersey and a year after that he was traded before ultimately landing in alcohol rehab two years later. I'm pretty sure he installed my cable last week.

In any case I need this shirt. It's either this or one of these:

Stretch Delorean baby! Would this thing need two flux capacitors? And 2.42 gigawatts? Bonus word: claymaker.

PS: When pogs make a comeback you're all going to with you had my collection. Even have the hologram ying yang. I'll probably retire on that stash/sell them for 42 cents on ebay.

Double PS: Gak smelled like poop.