Well this settles it. LeBron is a communist! Or a fascist! Wait what was Germany again? Brat-ist? Something like that. You'd think I'd remember this with all of the Wolfenstein I played as a kid. Point being that any NBA team that signs him is downright Un-American! And if you don't like America you can giiiiiiiiiiit out.
Anyhow I feel obligated to at least throw my two cents in on this NBA free agency buffet about to being tonight at midnight. I mean almost everyone I run into wants to know where I think Lebron is going to end up. And by 'everyone' I mean my mom asked me the other day what the deal is with this LeJordan character. So here goes nothing.
My best guess is that this is all an organized circus to generate attention toward the NBA during a time when there is generally little. I'm assuming at some point two years ago David "Vince McMahon" Stern sat down with LeBron and basically told him that even if he was going to stay in Cleveland he should opt out of his contract and create the media circus that you currently see on every media outlet. I mean Strange Brew is on it and the Brewers actually won last night! Anyhow I know everyone thinks Chicago or Miami or New York blah blah blah. You can't convince me that he is not going to stay in his hometown of Cleveland. Can you imagine being a high school phenom in Akron, Ohio, the Cavs getting the 1st overall pick the year you go into the draft (see where the McMahon reference comes in?), and you getting to stay in your hometown to play professional ball? Then 7 years later after you've won literally NOTHING skipping town to go to a bigger market? I just don't see it. That would be like me deciding to do socially awkward radio in a market other than Sheboygan. Like if I'm going to embarrass myself and others I'm going to do it on my own turf. You're welcome Sheboygan (read: I'm sorry).
So my guess is this drags on for a couple of weeks before ultimately LeBron stays in Cleveland. And based on the way my predictions have gone on this blog over the course of it's existence I would anticipate a press conference announcing his new contract to play soccer in Madrid momentarily. Either way I HOPE he leaves Cleveland and the division. If that happens and the Bucks can resign Salmons (who also opted out) we become the favorites to win the division next season. Like legitimately. How insane is it that I won't get drug tested anymore after that statement. Bonus word: lebron.
PS: I'm not sure if anyone caught the Chris Douglas Roberts press conference at the Cousins Center yesterday, but he was talking about being amped up to play for Skiles so Scott can teach him defense. Like really? Defense in the NBA? Is this even planet earth anymore?
Double PS: Douglas Robersts already has the best catchphrase in the league. CDR me ASAP. Easy to remember? Check. Beer reference? Check. Put that on shirts and rake in the cash. Marketing in Wisconsin 101.