
So I was scanning facebook status updates this morning and noticed a lot of people angry about the fact that Wisconsin had only 50% voter turnout, even though that is a state record. And, yeah, at the end of the day the fact that 50% is a record is a little disconcerting, but I think the problem is in the process. I'm a new home owner in a new district so I had to show up like a lot of people and re-register for my area. Got my utility bill, my ID blah blah and headed off to go stand in line for half an hour waiting to fill out paper work so I could go stand in another line waiting to fill out a ballot which took me exactly 14 seconds to fill out. But while I was standing in line to register with many other frustrated people it dawned on me what this process was missing: beer and snack carts. Like I haven't encountered a problem in my life that can't be solved with beer and snacks. Boring football game? Beer and snacks. Heading to the DMV? Beer and snacks. Long day ahead at work? Beer and snacks. In fact I'm pretty sure this equation is universal:
Boring event+ x= fun event. Solve for x.
x=beer/snacks
See? It's not me talking, it's math. So instead of luring people to the polls with patriotic duty guilt, let's do the American thing and lure people there with booze and salt. Standing in lines sucks. Beer makes everything more entertaining. It will get dark tonight. All are statements of fact.
PS: Alright most of that was nonsense but you know what would seriously help more people vote? Being able to vote online. Like how is that not a reality yet? I can chat with people in Africa on Facebook and I can't cast a vote? For shame science. Between this, no hoverboards, and no flying cars you're on thin ice.
Double PS: 'Most of that was nonsense" could EASILY replace "Strange Brew" as the title of this blog.



Comments