From AOL* News:

AOL – (Sept. 15) – It doesn’t take a Mel Gibson tirade  to know that people say dumb things when they’re drunk. But new evidence shows that drinking is bad for your image even if you don’t open your mouth. In fact, according to a working paper from the University of Michigan’s Scott Rick and the University of Pennsylvania’s Maurice Schweitzer, just holding a glass of alcohol makes you look stupid. It does not matter if you’re male or female, or whether you drink beer or wine — if people see you drinking, they think you’re dumber than you’d otherwise appear. “It hurts you,” Rick tells AOL News. The study conducted five experiments. One had people judge photographs of others holding an alcoholic drink, a non-alcoholic one or nothing. Another experiment tested how persuasive a speech would be if the audience knew the speaker was drinking alcohol or something nonalcoholic. In both cases, alcohol dimmed the perceived intelligence of the people holding the drinks.  The most damning and universally applicable finding, however, came from the experiment that melded alcohol and job-seeking. Let’s say a potential employer takes you, the potential employee, to dinner. The study shows that when you order a glass of wine or a beer, the employer views you as less desirable — even if the employer orders a drink as well. “There are so many associations with alcohol,” he adds. And very few of them are positive, as Rick’s study reminds.

Shenanigans! To quote Jackie Chiles these rumors are lewd, vesivius, salacious, outrageous! I mean do the people above look stupider because of alcohol? Pfft. I can't believe that AOL news would even stoop so low as to report these 'findings' as actual facts. Bush league AOL. Bush. And what's the deal with Scott Rick and Maurice Schweitzer? Like who sits around and conducts a study that tells people that drinking makes them look dumber. These are the same types of guys who say 'nah, I think I'll stay in and play Warcraft' when asked if they want to go to a house party in college. Then years later they get their revenge by conducting this study. A study which has -30% validity by the way. I've conducted my own study on the effects of alcohol on a person's (read:me) intelligence for the past 10 years. And I can say that after tireless scientific research I've found that I not only look cooler when I drink, I sound more intelligent on all subjects. Sure I can't remember how smart I was the next day, but I'm pretty sure I've come up with some world changing ideas 10 PBRs in. So to the fun police, Mr. Rick and Mr. Schweitzer, I call politely call BS. So drink on America! And say smarterer things.

* Who knew AOL has a news department still? Like did this article come from 1997? Let me crank up my 56K modem and a/s/l some chat rooms stat!

PS: I can't stand people who frown upon drinking before speeches. Like OMG, he's drinking before this lecture?! You know what I think when I see someone drinking before they give a speech to me? I'm about to listen to the most entertaining speech of all time.

Double PS: Drinking during interviews makes you a less desirable candidate? BWHAHAHA. Sam Adams taught me differently years ago. And if you can't trust beer ads who can you trust?