Not a great offseason so far for Montee Ball eh? Announced he's returning for his senior season and so far got arrested at Mifflin Street Block Party and then got jumped by 5 bro's on University Ave early yesterday morning. Like you wonder if he could Inception himself if he'd convince Montee from 8 months ago to cash a 6 figure check and hang out at an NFL training camp. Honestly at this point I 1,000% expect Bret Bielema to have a Ron Burgundy 'might wanna lay low for a while' conversation with Montee just to make sure he makes to the preseason in one piece.

Now I realize that details are pretty vague right now and we shouldn't make assumptions but then I also realized that 'facts' are for the Wall Street Journal and not the blogesphere. So instead of using this space for calm, rational thought, let's conjecture the hell out of this and start some rumors. Now I know that the present story is that this attack was unprovoked and supposedly 'random' but I just find that hard to believe. Like even if this was just a random group of guys looking for a fight post bar-close don't you think they know who Montee Ball is? Like the guy broke a record set by Barry Sanders last year! He was in the running for the Heisman trophy! Not to mention he's right in the heart of Madison when this occured. This would be like Big Bird getting jumped on Sesame Street and people saying they didn't know who he (she?) was. There are also a bunch of rumors on the internet from people that 'know' the situation that claim there is some dispute over a girl here and that perhaps Montee was, shall we say 'dabbling', with someone's lady. Which to me is a crappy reason to go after him. I mean what's the point of being a star running back on a college campus if you can't have free reign over Mifflin and every girl on campus. Pretty sure if I was this other dude I would take that as a compliment.

All I know is that these 5 guys better keep a low profile for a while because my guess is that someone knows who they are and if they impact another potential Big Ten Championship and a Heisman winner they're going to be rounded up and put in the Boo Box Hook-style by the campus at large. It also wouldn't shock me one bit if all 5 of these guys are offered scholarships by Brady Hoke once they're identified. Best chance Michigan will have to stop Montee all season.

PS: When he got arrested at Mifflin you know somewhere Lori Berquam was saying 'I told you, don't go!'