Well in case you missed it yesterday Michael Phelps' new girlfriend is winning the Olympics. Just tearing up Twitter and Facebook, front page of Yahoo and now Strange Brew. Big week for her. But what I found more interesting is the fact that Phelps is getting BLASTED on comment boards everywhere for being an ugle dude. Now it may come as a shock but I don't spend a whole lot of time dissecting whether or not guys are visually appealing. To quote from Seinfeld "You know just admitting a a man is attractive does not make you a homosexual." "It doesn't help." So there's that. Now on the surface I can see that he's above the rim in this relationship. But, again, to call him out for that is the pot calling the kettle black from this keyboard. I'm permantly above the rim. I'm above the rim if I'm holding a Sears catalog. And I have slightly fewer gold medals and abs than this bro. But what I find interesting is how people are busting him out with 'dude she's only into you for your money!' 'better make sure you don't get her pregnant!'and 'ah perfect a sea clam and a clam.' I don't even know what that last one means. Sounds kind of like a compliment. But do people think Michael Phelps doesn't know that? That's the whole point! I mean what's the purpose of busting your ass in the gym for 12 years to win medals and endorsements if you can't hook up with a girl 5 points ahead of you! It's not just the right way; it's the American way. So don't let the haters get to you Michael! Because at the end of the day you're going home to a smokeshow blond and doing the butterfly in a money vault like Scrooge McDuck. U-S-A! U-S-A!