FORT WALTON BEACH - A woman is accused of biting a man on the chest after she tired of him looking at other women and playing video games.
On Aug. 17 an Okaloosa County Sheriff's deputy was called to a Colonial Drive apartment after learning of a domestic dispute.
The victim, who has lived with the woman for about six months, said she began yelling at him because she thought he was looking at other women, and was ignoring her to play video games. She became so angry she started throwing things around the house.
He said she charged him, and he grabbed her wrists to protect himself from her. "The defendent then leaned in and bit the victim on the left side of his chest near his arm pit," the deputy wrote in the arrest report.
I've got news for you honey, if you're going to bite the chest of every guy you date who plays too many video games and stares at other women you're going to be biting a LOT of guys. Like you'll be the chest biting statistical leader in no time flat. Hate to break it to you but things like The Notebook aren't real. Ryan Gosling isn't spending 2 years building you a house with an art studio and working on his abs while he pines 24 hours a day. That bro is going out and getting a copy of Madden and taunting 12 year old kids on Xbox Live until he forgets about you. And you should probably get over him staring at other women too. 0% chance any guy can get that under control. Just a knee jerk reaction when a good looking girl walks past you. It's like an eclipse. You know you shouldn't look at it. You've been told not to look at it. But you just can't help it. So the faster you accept the fact that your boyfriend will never stop buying Call of Duty and glancing at other women out of the corner of his eye, the faster you're going to be spendingn less of your free time in court.
PS: Graham Harrell looked okay last night huh? Loved everyone freaking out about our backup quarterback having a few rough preseason games. Oh god! Our backup QB isn't hitting our 4th string receiver in stride! Cancel the season! I mean seriously how much of a first world football problem is that. Jet's fans: How about having your 1st and 2nd string offenses not scoring a single touchdown in the preseason and have some real problems. 158.3 QB rating last night. No biggie. But Clay Matthews stole the show with this photo bomb:
Boom! I don't know what's better, the Matthews photo bomb or the Rodgers fu-manchu. Google 'awesome' and this is the first picture up.