Jimmy Kimmel nearly kills thousands of people.

Now I realize I'm a little late to the game on this one but that's because Jimmy Kimmel is on at like midnight and I can't stay up past 10 anymore if my life depended on it. Like Kimmel could have naked supermodels on every night in HD for 90 minutes and I'd miss it every night. He may as well be broadcasting from Melmac as far as I'm concerned. But I feel pretty comfortable saying that this is the most dangerous stunt every pulled off in the history of television. Forget all of that Fear Factor stuff with people drinking donkey semen (true story) or any of the antics Tom Green used to try and those Jackass guys took to the next level. This outweighs them all. Because if the Packers were playing in the Super Bowl and defending a hail mary at the end that could lose it for them, or throwing a hail mary at the end that could win it for them, and someone pulled the TV cord that person is dead. Literally/figuratively. And could you imagine if you were watching the game with a degenerate gambler and you pulled this move? Curtains. The fact that Kimmel is still on the air and these videos only ended with mild violence is a flat out MIRACLE. I've got a better shot of blogging in Latin tomorrow than I do of explaining how none of these videos looked like the end of Scarface. Pretty sure not a court in the world would convict you of anything either! 'Your honor I was watching the Super Bowl and as Mason Crosby was lining up for a game winning kick my TV was purposefully unplugged.' You'd have kids running out of the court room screaming 'INNOCENT, HE'S INNOCENT' like I was Carl Lee at the end of A Time to Kill.

PS: Remember Tom Green? I was watching the Top 40 TRL moments on VH1 Saturday morning (because the flip side of not being able to stay awake past 10 is being up at 7am on the weekend) and they had him in the top 10. Like I totally forgot about that guy. For about 2 years there he owned the world. Hosting his own show with Glenn Humplink, making cameo's in Road Trip, marrying Drew Barrymore, and owning the #1 song in the country with The Bum Bum Song. Think about that; The Bum Bum Song was #1 IN THE COUNTRY. Eat your heart out Lennon!

Double PS: Some kid in high school used to call me 'Humplink' when the Tom Green show was hot in the streets. I don't see the resemblance:

Triple PS: Dammit.