So this guy was on Real Sports a couple of months back talking all sorts of trash about how hard tightrope walking is, how his family have been tightrope walkers for decades blah blah blah. Hell I thought I was going to hear him chant 'Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!' at the end of the segment. But he was basically trying to sell everyone on the fact that he is an athlete and to drum up publicity for his tightrope walk across Niagra Falls which happened this past weekend. Now as with 98% of the TV I consume I forgot about this dude until yesterday when I heard that ABC aired a frieking THREE HOUR special on this guy's Niagra Falls conquest. Now a three hour show based entirely on tightrope walking is bad enough, but then I learned that he had a safety net under him the entire time in case he fell. Ummmm what? Doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose? Like isn't the whole point of watching something like this that I might watch this dude plummet into a waterfall Richard Kimble-Fugitive style? Now I know this guy will probably tell you that ABC 'made' him have it because they probably have a thing about not watching a man die on live TV, but still, people watch these things because imminent danger sells. Not to mention the fact that if he falls he just falls into a net has to give this guy confidence right? Like if you're one slip away from plunging 2,000 feet I would imagine the dynamic changes. Heart rate increased, sweaty palms etc. etc. This would be like if a buddy dared me to hit on the hottest girl at a bar after I've been drinking all night. The booze already makes me believe I'm better looking and funnier than I am, plus I'll probably just forget that I got rejected in the morning anyway. No encumbrances. Now if you ask me to go over there stone sober it's a whole different ball game. Granted my man Nik Wallenda here might argue that tightrope walking across the largest waterfall in the world is slightly different than approaching a girl. Semantics.
PS: You could put a picture of me and the physical shape I'm in, along with the blog I just wrote and place it next to the definition of an internet tough guy.
Double PS: I don't know why but this story made me think of this;