Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to Stephanie Rice. Aussie Olympic swimmer and my new #1 favorite athlete. Well, #2 behind Ryan Braun. Actually #3 behind Aaron Rodgers. Yeah. But I guess this was a story yesterday because Australia was upset about her 'disgracing their national swim team.' Ummmmmm what? Memo to Australia; before this story I knew two things about you as a country. #1 Outback Steakhouse and #2 Crocodile Dundee. That's it. But now? I'm not only geeked for the Olympics, I'm buying Aussie swag like I'm Hacksaw Jim Duggan Down Under! See this is the thing that people in the Olympics don't get: sex sells. Always has. Always will. It's the only thing in the world that has an undefeated record. It's the Goldberg of marketing. Worked in the first Olympiad in Greece, works in 2012. As far as I'm concerned swimming would to well to just change over to these suits as opposed to what they have now. What do you think will garner more interest, the above picture? Or this:

And I know there are people that will be up in arms about this but don't tell me women are checking out men's swimming events to see Michael Phelps' form. Washboard abs and -3% body fat have helped his marketability JUST a tad. And it's not a coincidence that beach volleyball was one of the most watched sports in 2008:

Like I can't tell you a thing about beach volleyball world rankings, powerhouses, or rules for that matter. But Misty Mae and Kerri Walsh were appointment viewing 4 years ago. You do you Stephanie Rice! Aussie Aussie Aussie Oy Oy Oy!

PS: Mom, I don't believe any of this. I think what Stephanie is doing brings shame on her and her country. Cover it up Stephanie! There are children watching.