NASA will pay you 5 grand to eat their food.

Posted by Jon Henseler on

Astronaut ice cream aside, limited supplies (such as flour, sugar and dried meat), and no chance of fresh food limits the space-based diet. This study will gauge if participants can avoid “menu fatigue,” that is, becoming tired of eating the same foods. The studybackground states that if menu fatigue occurs, astronauts’ “overall food intake declines, putting them at risk for nutritional deficiency, loss of bone and muscle mass, and reduced physical capabilities.”

There are a few catches, of course. Among others, you have to have a bachelor’s degree in either math, engineering, biological or physical sciences, or computer science; you have to be a non-smoker; you have to speak English. Then if you are chosen, you have to live astronaut-style: in a small enclosure with strangers, with limited showers, writing daily reports.

But in addition to the free food, those chosen for the study will be given cooking classes and taught to work in space’s microgravity environment. They will also earn round-trip travel to Hawaii, lodgings…and $5,000.

 

Sooooooo essentially NASA is paying you 5 G's and a round trip vacation to Hawaii for living like a college student for 4 months? I mean no joke I could do this in my sleep. From 2002-2007 I didn't eat fresh food, lived in a small enclosure with strangers and took limited showers. And I PAID (read: parents paid) $20,000 to do that exact same stuff. Little did I know I not only got a degree in internet thuggery I also could have been getting my Tom Hanks on as an astronaut. Now I know they have that disclaimer about having a bachelor's degree in math, engineering, biological or physical sciences or computer science blah blah blah. Nothing a little resume doctoring can't accomplish. Hell according to my resume right now I graduated with 'honors' and am 'proficient' in a variety of skills that I've never done in my life*. Plus I was OBSESSED with Bill Nye the Science Guy when I was a kid so I'm pretty sure getting one of those degrees wouldn't be too hard. Stand back! There's science in this! From the book of Nye.

*Protip kids: It is your future EMPLOYER'S responsibility to verify that you are in fact qualified for that particular job. If I say I'm a scientist and they take me at my word shame on them. Life 101.

PS: No joke I'd take $2,000 and the trip to Hawaii if they throw in a space suit that I can wear when I eat this freeze dried ice cream. $1,000 if they can get me the suit and Ed Harris says 'with all due respect sir, I believe this is going to be our finest hour' before I take a bite.

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