This video is straight up perfect and my only regret is that it came out too late for me to use it. Like night of and day after Halloween candy trading is a flat out art. Hell it wouldn't surprise me if some of the best sports general manager's started off swindling their buddies out of all the good Halloween candy when they were kids. Like before Ted Thompson was trading 3rd round draft picks into Clay Matthews he was turning Bit-O-Honey into Snickers. So if you're under the age of 10 and you see someone getting a Reese's for a Mary Jane latch onto them and make them your best friend. Pretty good shot they'll be getting you seats on the 50 yard line when you get older. Also if you're under the age of 10 use this blog as a cautionary tale of what can happen if you drink your way through college.

PS: I have an admission to make. First time I've ever said this to anyone. I flat out LOVE the orange and black peanut butter taffy. Like I can't get enough. I'm not sure if that makes me a bad person, I'm certain of it. Now up until this point I've led a pretty normal(ish) life. But I feel like at some point I'm going to be in jail and psychologists are going to Inception my brain and find out my favorite Halloween candy was pb taffy. They'll let out one of those audible 'ahhhhhhhhh's' and close the case. 

Double PS: Question, which is better: Kid Halloween or Adult Halloween? Now Kid Halloween is all about dressing up as your favorite super-hero, comic book star or cartoon character and getting as much candy as possible. Adult Halloween is all about dressing up in as your favorite super-hero, comic book star or cartoon character with a slutty twist and getting as much liquid candy as possible. I think I've still got to go with Kid Halloween at the end of the day. Although I will say this; even though you get bills to pay, your metabolism goes down the toilet and you start growing body hair like George the Animal Steele, when you're an adult, any day can be Halloween. And you don't have to go around the neighborhood threatening people to make it happen, just stop off at the grocery store and drown your sorrows in processed sugar any day you want.