'Ummmmm I don't really follow much....Um you know I just see it as...We're still all alive so...you know he's doing a good job....But um....I didn't like his 10% tax on tanning but I think he knows that.'

John Adams. Patrick Henry. Snooki Polizzi. I mean if this isn't a modern day 'Give me liberty or give me death!' speech I don't know what is. My only regret is that I didn't get it posted before this morning. Like there are Strange Brew readers out there who potentially voted without having heard this. As far as I'm concerned they should get a re-do or something because they didn't have all the information. It'd be like ordering from a menu and not hearing the specials.

PS: I know that was (mostly) sarcastic but is that maybe not a sneaky good way to determine who you're voting for? Just get into the booth and say 'Jon.....are you alive right now?' And if the answer to that question is 'yes' then just vote for whomever is already in office.

Double PS: The above picture pretty much sums up what is wrong with this country doesn't it? I mean I sleepwalked through college and spent my parents money like they were in a pyramid scheme so I can't complain, I deserve to be an internet jester. But there are people out there with degrees from Harvard that make exponentially less than Snooki. I guess that's kind of the American dream in a way? Turn no talent or education into a million dollar career by fist pumping and tanning? To quote Don King; Only in America!