Alright so the story burning up the Wisconsin internet this morning is that Aaron Rodgers and his girlfriend Destiny were at the Vandy game the other night and I guess it looks like she has an engagement ring on blah blah blah. Look that's all well and good and I hate to make this post more about me than Aaron Rodgers but the facts are undeniable, that's 20 year old me standing right next to the league MVP in a Dwight Schrute mustard brown shirt special:
Annnnnd here's me in college at 20 going on 13:
I mean I'm not 'technically' a forensic scientist but I watch a lot of CSI and Maury Povich 'Are you the father?' episodes so I can say wtih 99% certainy that that is me. Plus I look really upset which probably means I money on the Vanderbilt cover. Which coincidentally 28 year old Jon also had. And we both lost.
Not to mention didn't we have that story on two or three months ago that involved a 45 year old 'Jamie' Henseler with red hair and a five o' clock shadow arrested for defecating in a park water fountain? Well one thing is for sure folks, at some point in the future we will either all be able to time travel or I meet a real life Doc Brown. And instead of traveling to the signing of the Declaration of Independence or the Lunar Landing I've decided to spend my time betting on obscure SEC games while creeping on Aaron Rodgers. Sounds about right.
PS: Hey time traveling Jon; in between wasting time gambling on Ole Miss games and becoming a sex offender do you think you could work in bringing me some stem cells for my liver and finding a cure for a receding hairline? Thanks.
Double PS: Cue every girl in my building complaining that Rodgers' girl 'isn't cute enough.' Whateves. That's not the reason I'm against this fake internet engagement. I just never understand young, rich, good looking (that's what I'be been told at least) athletes committing at such a young age. Like I feel like everytime this happens somewhere George Clooney weeps....'have I taught you nothing!!'
Triple PS: The fact that Instagram is a billion dollar venture is either the stupidest or greatest thing ever and I can't decide which. Look at that picture of me 8 years ago. Is that Instagram? Nope, just crappy photo quality that we all had. Scientists spent literally decades increasing mega pixels and higher resolutions and Instagram comes along and just goes back to what was happening in 1998 and makes it a 10 figure company. America!