
Well the maker's of baconaise, bacon lip balm, and bacon envelopes have emerged from their laboratory* with the latest bacon concoction just in time for the holiday season: bacon shaving cream! Now this product is marketing itself as a gift for the women to get their men who shave on a daily basis and hate it. Which of course is every man on the face of the planet who has to shave. Literally no guy wants to shave ever and if you're dating a guy who can't wait to shave his beard or mustache in the morning you need to run the other direction as fast as humanly possible. The next guy who both enjoys shaving and is mentally stable will be the first. That being said I'm not sure how this is going to solve the problem. I mean if this does truly smell like freshly cooked bacon there is a 200% I just eat the entire thing and end up looking like this in 3 weeks:

So yes in theory this is a cool, unique gift, but in a different way it might kill your man too. Like this stuff has to be edible right? Because if it's toxic I'm going end up like Susan from Seinfeld dead from licking bacon envelopes covered in bacon shaving cream.
*How great of a job is it to be a bacon entrepreneur? Just mixing and matching and finding ways to work bacon into everything. I picture these two in an RV like Walt and Jesse in Breaking Bad out in the dessert cooking up different bacon products.
PS: How awesome is No Shave November if you have a job where you have to look presentable every day? 'Hey Andy man, you should probably clean it up a little bit buddy, you look like a homeless person' 'Oh really? Because what looks like a food net on my chin is actually spreading prostate cancer awareness. Hope you feel good. Now if you'll excuse me there's a small piece of a sandwich in the lower left quadrant of my chin sweater I need to attend to. Ass.'



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