Alright so there has been A LOT of conversation this week about the Badgers backing into the Big Ten Title game, being the worst team in the history of college football to play in a Rose Bowl blah blah blah. Like there are Badger fans actually indifferent towards the game on Saturday and getting set to go Vince McMahon 'YOU'RE FIRRRREEDDDD' on Bret Bielema after the weekend. And while I get that they are in the title game on a 'technicality' I also get that I don't give a damn about it being a technicality. Sure, if this were a normal season they'd probably be set for the Human Fund Bowl in two weeks and not even sniffing the BCS. But the bottom line is that Ohio State covered up a merchandise scandal and Penn State allowed a child rapist to operate with impunity for three decades. Don't do that and bingo bango you'd be in the Big Ten Title game instead of 7-5 Bucky. Pretty simple.
To me it would be like if the apocalypse hit tomorrow and only me and Kate Upton were left standing. Now if it were just us two, and the fate of humanity depended on it, I think I have a solid 60% chance of dating her. And I'm sure if I did all my dead buddies would be like 'well yeah you're the last bro on earth, kind of scored on a technicality there man.' Oh yeah? I'm sure I'll be real worried about that when I'm sitting down to a nice dinner of Hostess Little Debbie snake cakes staring at this:
Technicality FTW! So let's do this thing Badger fans! Let's win the Big Ten Title game on a technicality! Let's be the worst team in the history of football to win the Rose Bowl! Let's hook up with Kate Upton in a post-apocalyptic dystopian future! U-S-A! U-S-A!
PS: Also for the Packer fans out there Cedric Benson is officially out for the year. Kind of seems appropriate that my last Cedric Benson blog is about him at a strip club. Like if you asked me when we signed him how I thought it would work out, there's a strong chance I'd have said something involving a strip club. Goes to show you kids, sometimes you can judge a book by it's cover.