Dinosaurs may be partly to blame for a change in climate because
they created so much flatulence, according to leading scientists.
Professor Graeme Ruxton of St Andrews University, Scotland, said
the giant animals spent 150 years emitting the potent global warming gas,
Large plant-eating sauropods would have been the main culprits
because of the huge amounts of greenery they consumed.
Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Newton's Laws of Gravity. Pythagoras' Theorem. Ruxton's Flatulence Apocalypse. All earth shattering scientific discoveries. All things we can use to improve the world. Now in the interest of full disclosure I'm like 80% sure that the Daily Mail is essentially the UK version of The Onion, but it seemed legit and the photo they found of a dinosaur passing gas flat out killed me. Like that's the actual picture of the article. All it needs is some Bob Ross Titanium White coming out of his rear end and they nailed it. Not to mention this sounds somewhat viable no? Like if you actually examine the science behind this theory I would think it probably holds some weight. Dinosaurs were huge. Therefore their meals were huge. Ergo their farts were huge and destroyed the atmosphere. Boom problem solved! I mean I know there are times I feel like I'm actually dying 4 hours after a meal. In fact one night in college we had a taco bar night and my buddies and I followed that up with a dirty 30 of PBR. The next morning I think I was legit dead in the bathroom for like 3 minutes. Now extrapolate that thinking to 80 ton beasts. I guess Jeff Goldblum was right in Jurassic Park. Life...ah ah ah....finds a way....to ruin a planet with their SPD's. Science!
PS: I can't help but think of what dinosaurs would think if this were actually true. 'Ahhhhhhh, think we could stick with the comet story? Yeah.....let's go with that.'
Double PS: I've been afraid to fart since I read this at 6am.