What are you getting your special someone for Valentine’s Day? Roses? Chocolates? A divorce? A Michigan attorney is holding a romantic contest this week which will reward the winners with a free divorce for Valentine’s Day.

Attorney Walter H. Bentley III said:

“The winner will be chosen based on the most compelling and convincing story as to why they should be the winner. The divorce is limited to an uncontested divorce with no or minimum child custody issues.”

Bentley said that divorce may not sound like a romantic way to spend Valentine’s Day but said that it would be even worse to spend the day with someone you don’t love.

Move over Nicholas Sparks! Take a seat Shakespeare! Eat your heart out Christian Grey! Walter H Bentley is here and he's bringing the romance back to Valentine's Day. Honestly I'd like to make fun of this promotion but it's clearly working. 500 submissions already! My only question is who has to read through these puppies. Like I picture some intern at Bentley's law firm having to sit down and read FIVE HUNDRED letters chronicling husbands and wives cheating on each other, neither being able to find a job and their house foreclosing, kids caught in the middle, just real uplifting stuff. Kind of makes me happy I get paid pennies on the dollar to blog about swimsuit models and the Bucks. Actually scratch that last part. I'd say writing a 600 word blog on the Milwaukee Bucks is probably at the very least as bad as reading 500 essays on how someone's life is miserable but they're stuck in it because they can't afford a divorce. Actually I may just submit yesterday's blog to this law firm and see if I can get a fan-divorce from that team. I'm sure if I add more detail about how I spent money on season tickets for 3 straight years, purchased 4 jersey's and sat through the Larry Harris era they'd have to grant me something. It's like that Seinfeld where Costanza goes head to head with the Andrea Doria survivor. Just wait until you hear the astonishing tales of Henseler.

PS: I was talking to a buddy the other day and asked him if him and his girlfriend were doing anything for Valentine's Day. Get this; guy legit told me 'she said she doesn't want anything so we're just going to keep it low key.' Ummmmm what? Anytime a girl has ever said 'I don't want anything' she 1,000% wants something. Doesn't have to be major but if you think you're skating away scot-free on Valentine's Day you're going to be in William Bentley's office so fast it will make your head spin. Wake up bro, this is day 1 stuff.