First of all, what the hell happened to TLC? I remember when I was a kid there was actual informative programming on there right? Well if there were ever a question as to whether or not Ted Dibiase was right when he said 'everbody's got a price' their programming change should convince you otherwise. Forget about educational programming meant to stimulate the mind and challenge the brain! That doesn't put asses in seats! Give me Honey Boo Boo and a chick pound 3,200 cat hair balls and ad revenue!
Now I think it's a given at this point that everything on reality TV is scripted to look 'real.' Hell I'm 30% convinced that the whole Manti Te'o thing was an elaborate advertisement for the MTV show Catfish which I watch a marathon on the day after the Te'o story broke. So with that in mind I'm saying there is absolutely no way this broad pops cat hair balls in her mouth like they're Tic Tacs. So my question is, and sticking with the Ted Dibiase theme, how much would someone have to pay you to appear on this show and claim you eat cat hair balls everyday? $10,000? $50,000? Personally I'm doing this for no less than $100,000. Because it's not so much the actual act of filming this and popping a few hair balls in your mouth. That's easy. It's the scarlet letter that comes with it. Like you'll forever be the guy/girl that eats cat hair balls. And even if you convince someone that you were paid to do it and you don't really lick your cat, the bottom line is there's video evidence of you licking your cat like Simba at the beginning of Lion King. Again though, that's easier to swallow if there's a small fortune to kick back on. I guess it's true what they say, you can't make an omelette without cracking a few eggs. Or in this case you can't start a Swiss bank account without eating 3,200 hairballs. What?
PS: Just had someone present a different hypothetical; instead of money what if you could guarantee something would occur if you appeared on this show eating hairballs. I.E. you could marry Kate Upton, eat pizza and never put on weight, etc. Intriguing proposition and I think I like that question more. Real talk: if I could guarantee a Brewers World Series championship I would eat 3,200 hairballs before noon.
Double PS: The look on this cat's face says it all.