AP: How much would someone have to pay you to decide what your newborn baby’s name should be? For one woman, it’s $5,000. That’s how much California mom-to-be Natasha Hill won in a contest where she agreed to give up the naming rights for her new baby in exchange for the cash. Contest organizers, Baby Ballot, will now present online voters with 10 names, five boy and five girl, to choose from. Some will be trendy names selected by the company and others will be selected by sponsors. Names with product names in them or ones that are “too crazy” won’t be allowed. Voting happens March 18-22 at babynames.net. The winning name will be the one the baby, due in September, will be stuck with – at least until he or she turns 18.
First of all I know a lot of people are hating on Natasha Hill, calling her a bad mom, wondering how she could leave such an important thing up to someone else blah blah blah. But as we chronicled in our blog about Jason Headsets.com, you're not going to catch me casting a stone at someone for making free money. My only gripe is the amount of money. I mean 5 grand? That's it Natasha? I'm thinking to name my kid I'd need 20K minimum. Sort of feel like Natasha kind of got stuck like Dr. Evil when he help the world ransom for 1 million dollars in 1999. Like, Natasha, I don't know what you've been up to lately but 5 G's isn't what it used to be. Yesterday I filled up a tank of gas and went to the grocery store and had to make it rain like Pacman Jones at a strip club. Except instead of pole dancing and lap dances I was going unleaded and Dunkaroos. So again, sell the naming rights to you kid by all means, but this is a one shot deal, at least make it worth your time.
Now I will say the one smart thing that 'babynames.net' did was limit it to 10 names and filtered out selections that were 'too crazy.' Like if babynames.net just presented this kid to the internet and allowed it to decide a name they may as well just put the down payment on therapy down now. It would be like that scene in Jurassic Park where the goat was left out for the T-Rex to eat. Goat=baby, T-Rex=internet tough guys. Ask Mountain Dew how their, 'Dub the Dew' promotion went when they just let the internet run wild without directions. #1 selection was Hitler did Nothing Wrong and #2 was Diabeetus. And honestly I think those are two of the nicest things written on the internet yesterday. So kudos to babynames.net for having the wherewithal to at least be a gatekeeper on this promotion and spare this kid's life even though he/she is probably screwed anyway.
PS: If Dub the Dew doesn't tell you where the internet is at as a virtual society then nothing will. Like to say anything goes would be an understatement. You almost wonder if you went back in time and took the original computer developers for IBM in the 1940's and 50's, gunned it to 88mph and showed them what we've become if they'd go back Terminator 2 style and destroy it all like Skynet.
Double PS: If you didn't cry at the end of Terminator 2 when he gave the thumbs up in the molten lava I don't want to know you as a person.