(What are you doing up? It's 5 o'clock in the morning! We let you sleep in.)

Just in case you were curious as to what the schedule is at the Vatican during Conclave 2013 check it out:

1:30 a.m. – Breakfast is served.

2:45 a.m. – The cardinals transfer from the Domus Sanctae Marthae to the Pauline Chapel.

3:15 a.m. – Mass is celebrated in the Pauline Chapel.

4:30 a.m. – The cardinals transfer from the Pauline Chapel to the Sistine Chapel, pray Hora Media (Liturgy of the Hours) and proceed with two rounds of voting.

5:30-6 a.m. – Smoke is sent up only if a pope is elected.

7 a.m. – Smoke is sent up after the morning votes.

7:30 a.m. – The cardinals transfer from the Sistine Chapel to the Domus Sanctae Marthae.

8 a.m. – Lunch is served.

11 a.m. – The cardinals transfer from the Domus Sanctae Marthae to the Sistine Chapel.

11:50 a.m. – After brief prayer, the cardinals proceed with the two rounds of evening votes.

2 p.m. – Smoke is sent up after the evening votes.

2:15 p.m. – The cardinals pray Vespers in the Sistine Chapel.

2:30 p.m. – The cardinals transfer from the Sistine Chapel to the Domus Sanctae Marthae.

3 p.m. – Dinner is served.

Where do I sign! I mean to say I'm down with this is a massive understatement. One of the primarily problems with getting a little older is that you can no longer stay up until 4am and sleep until 3pm the next day anymore. That and your metabolism crashes faster than Danica Patrick and your body sprouts hair like George the Animal Steele but those are different stories for a different day. But I would say the most depressing moment of my week is Saturday morning. Saturday morning's used to be about waking up at noon, eating leftover pizza, taking a few aspirin and going to bed until 5pm. Now Saturday morning is waking up at 6am, wrestling in your bed like it was a straight jacket until 6:14am and getting up to watching Friday's DVR of Hoda and Kathie Lee with a cup of coffee. Just brutal. But if I were a Cardinal I'd fit right in! Lunch at 8am! Dinner at 3pm! Maybe mix in a little Lawrence Welk and be in bed by 4;15pm. Conclave 2013 baby! Ain't goin' down while the sun's still up!

PS: Can't wait for west coast Brewer trips this year, 2% chance I see first pitch.