Beyonce is overjoyed with her daugther, Blue Ivy Carter, who is nearly 13 months old, and was slow to confirm the pregnancy last year for good reason. Beyonce dealt with the ultimate maternal anguish before that famous pregnancy: A miscarriage.
She is opening up for the first time about the miscarriage and its aftermath in Life Is But a Dream, her new documentary. "About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time," Beyonce, 31, says in one scene. "And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life."
She and husband Jay-Z were very much lookoing forward to their baby-to-be. "I picked out names," Beyonce recalls. "I envisioned what my child would look like . . . I was feeling very maternal."
But something went wrong in the early stages, she reveals. "I flew back to New York to get my check up -- and no heartbeat," she says. "Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat."
She turned to music after the loss.
"I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life," she says, although she doesn't name the track. "And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through."
All of which made her successful pregnancy with Blue Ivy all the more exciting and joyful. "Being pregnant was very much like falling in love," she muse. "You are so open. You are so overjoyed. There's no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone."
The new documentary, Life Is But a Dream, will debut on HBO this February.
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