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Brewer Zubaz are here to rescue the season!

by Jon Henseler

(Ueck with the pink polo, stark white shoes and stark white pants up to his nipples, such a boss)

In life there are wants and needs folks. I want gas prices to go down. I want hoverboards to exist. I want to live in a world where Episodes I-III of Star Wars don't exist. I need these Brewer Zubaz. I mean are you kidding me with these things? Mid-90's swag like you read about. Like, yeah, the Brewers are tied for last place with the Cubs. Yeah we've underachieved. Yeah with all of our injuries we're basically the Milwaukee Sounds at this point. But this makes up for a lot of things. Hell they should just wear them with the retro jerseys every Friday/every day. Probably go on a winning streak in no time. Like in the Mighty Ducks when Gordon Bombay buys his squad Ducks jerseys and they go from losing every game as District 14 to taking down the Hawks. Same deal here. And even if that doesn't happen I think this still makes the season a win. The 2013 Brewers: Jean Segura and Zubaz.

PS: These things are only $30?! I can't wait to be awesome in 3-5 business days. Like a tractor beam of hotness.

Double PS: I just typed 'tractor beam of hotness' into google to try and find the Ricky Bobby video. Nothing came up. So I clicked on images, and look what pops up:

That's right folks! PAGE FRIEKIN' 1 of google searching tractor beam of hotness is your boy's Super Bowl playoff beard! NBD but KBD.