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CBS NFL Pregame show fires Marino, Shannon Sharpe. Hires Tony Gonzalez.

by Jon Henseler


First of all, Jay Pharoah is the best impressionist on the planet. All those other impressionists are MEDIOCRE AT BEST! 

Second of all, brilliant move by CBS. Even though I've watched maybe a total of 7 minutes of the CBS pregame show in my life I know that Shannon Sharpe was an absolute hot mess on the air. Dude needed subtitles. You could have legit added a 'Shannon Sharpe' section to those Rosetta Stone commercials*.Marino I could take or leave I guess but I kind of feel bad for him just because it seemed like he did an okay job. Poor guy was probably the best quarterback of all time but Dolphins management basically surrounded him with the team from The Replacements his whole career and never won a Super Bowl. Now he's sitting by the phone waiting for Kraft to call him to make a commercial for Ace Ventura Laces Out mac and cheese.

That being said, one of those two seats is being filled by Tony Gonzalez. Which leaves one seat open. And I've got the PERFECT guy to fill the spot:

Double D! Personality? Check. Winning smile? Check. Can form a coherent thought? Check. It's an absolute no brainer. Dude oozes charisma. Plus literally every household in Wisconsin will tune in to watch him every Sunday. Guy's got a Q rating higher than Mother Teresa. So in the words of Gilbert Brown, CBS, don't drop the ball, make the call!

*Mean? Absolutely. But here's my stance on taking shots at people: If you make 7 figures per paycheck and can dry your tears with hunits , then you are fair game. Also if Shannon Sharpe is reading this, I secretly feel you were one of the most gifted orators in NFL pregame history. Just trying to get a couple cheap laughs man. We're cool right? Cool.

PS: Anyone else feel weird watching games when the Packers play on CBS like 2 times a year. Just feel off doesn't it? Like taking a dump in a hotel bathroom. Yeah it's a bathroom and it works fine, just doesn't feel right.

Double PS: Sneaky best pregame out there? Fantasy Football Now on the deuce.