First of all, I think this is the first time I've watched a Youtube video longer than 57 seconds in my life. Like when I got this sent to me in my inbox and I opened it and saw '5:55' I almost immediately closed it and moved on with my day. Like I've got better things to do you know*? But thankfully I decided to click play anyway and ended up watching the whole damn thing. And a nearly 6 minute internet video is basically like watching The Godfather. It's a double VHS. But it was wall to wall hilarity because anyone who knows anything about me knows I love to watch people fall. I'm positive that isn't a ringing endorsement of my humanity or parochial school education but there's nothing I can do. To quote a modern day philosopher Lady Gaga, I was born this way. Nothing I can do about it so may as well enjoy it.
And our man Alan here is of the same mindset I am. Parked outside of school and just laughing his ass off as kid after kid goes down. Can't wait for the PC Internet Police to assassinate this guy's character but I, for one, have his back. Poor guy is probably sitting in a Dodge Caravan he was forced to buy when his wife got knocked up and now his whole life is devoted to a couple of soul sucking kids. So God gave him this ice patch and 4 minutes of relief. Let a man live.
*Spoiler alert: I have literally nothing better to do.
PS: 2014 work problems: When someone at work says, 'come here you've got to check out this video' and you walk over and it's 7 minutes long and not funny at all.
Double PS: I just realized that I'm the above guy I just mentioned in the above PS. And instead of boring one person I bore thousands.