So with the news that Derek Jeter is doing a Mariano Rivera-esque retirement tour this season ESPN did it's first entertaining thing in half a decade and put together this defensive chart of all the girls that Jeets has hooked up with during his playing career. Absolute GOAT chart. Say what you will about his Dhalsim speed at shortstop, but you can't slight the above graphic whatsoever.
So with that, if we injected Jeter with truth serum (Colt 45 double malt) I want to know one thing; if you told him he could either have a HOF baseball career with 4 World Series rings and 3,000 hits, or this dating life, which would he choose. You'd have to go dating chart wouldn't you? Like Clooney has to look at this thing and nod his head. And keep in mind these ladies were all in their prime. Tyra Banks circa the 90's. Mariah Carey before she lost her mind on MTV Cribs. And Vanessa Minnillo before Nick Lachey continued to get the absolute most out of his 98 Degrees fame*. Absolutely incredible. The stuff fairy tales are made of.
*Look I'm man enough to admit that Nick Lachey is a good looking dude (no homo), but can we all agree that the amount of tail he conquered on being apart of the 3rd most successful boy band of the 90's** is astonishing. Dude was married to Dukes of Hazzard Jessica Simpson AND managed to squeeze a Miller Lite endorsement deal out of that Newlyweds show. Then once Jessica woke up, he got married to Vanessa Minnillo 2 seconds later. Kind of reminds me of Scotty Podsednik. Not the most talented dude but got the most out of what God gave him.
** 1. Backstreet Boys 2. NSYNC 3. 98 Degrees 4. LFO
PS: One guy who probably looks at this chart and still scoffs is Bob Barker. 'Pffft...amateur. Also spa and neuter your pets you idiots.'
Double PS: Ironically the Yankees do actually make a trip to Miller Park in early May. I couldn't care less about Jeter's farewell tour, but if CC doesn't pitch in that series it's a crime.